It has been an extremely busy couple of weeks for me, and our family.
In the last month, I have had three major funerals ( I suppose every funeral is major...), but two of them were of young men who died at the hands of cancer. Another was an elderly lady. Each of them took alot out of me.
In addition we have been going through a mini series on our Building For Christ :Finish Campaign. It has been more than just preaching... The lead up work to it has been demanding, as have answering the questions.
I also have attended three graduations. Joel's was at OSU...Way to go big boy! He is looking for a job.... Abigial's high school graduation was last Thursday. Once again, the Curran kids left their mark on the graduation ceremonies. Abigial and her friend Whitney sang the Rascal Flats song, "My Wish" at the commencement. She said she was not nervous. And she did not look like it at all. That is amazing especially since she sang in front of 7500 people. They were amazing! And of course we have been so proud of her accomplishments in high school. All of our kids either sang, spoke or prayed at the graduation ceremonies... That is pretty cool.
Then James Summers ( Lydia's Husband) graduated from Ozark Chrsitian College. He is such a fine young man... we are proud of him and his desire to serve the Lord.
Now, on top of that we are dealing with the emotions of James and Lydia moving to the Chicago area. It is hard to let them go, but we know that God has a plan for them. In three months Abigial will be at Ozark. Joel will be off on his career... and Lizzie and Nathaniel are busy making their life in Fayetteville Ark.
So it will soon be Pam and I. No dogs, cats, or fish... just Pam and I. I think we are looking forward to it...but we know that it will demand some adjustments for both of us.
On the church front, we have had some interesting things happen. We invited Woody Wilkinson to come on Wednesday Nights to share with us on some study of Isalm, Mormonism and Jehovah's Witnesses. He is amazing... a man of both great knowledge and a great spirit.
The interesting thing is that we have advertised this on our marquee. It has caused a bit of a stir. The Marquee says, "I want to know about... Mormonism ( Or Jehovah's witnesses.). Last week, the phone rang several times at the church. It was people wanting to know more about the topic of the week. On Wednesday night, several men from the Mormon church showed up, as did a woman with 4 children. She talked with Woody afterwards...but the men did not. They quiet sat and listened. One man seemed to be deep in prayer during the presentation.
This morning ( after we had changed the marquee to Jehovah's Witnesses) I received a package from the local Kingdom Hall. There was a note attached, bascially saying that if we wanted to know more, we needed the right materials. ( Thank you). The note was very kind, even complimentary of our desire to know more about the Jehovah's Witness. It even mentioned their appreciation for our using their name on our marquee. I don't know whether they will send anyone Wednesday night or not... but I have found out something... People read the marquee!!!
By the way, in the middle of all this I went to the Nureologist... She said I am doing well... see you in 6 months. That is good news.
God is good, even in really busy times and times of transition
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Big Crowds..
Preachers are often conditioned to think that big crowds are a validation of worth and significance. We go to meetings and get asked the question , "How's it going?" That is code for "how big is your church," or "are you on the rise or decline", or "are your offerings up or down, "and are the people behind you or are you getting creamed by some hypercritical person or persons.
The answer is usually, "Things are good." We try to be as vague as possible. If we are growing and things are going great, we don't want to sound egotistical. If things are going bad, we don't want to whine.
But it goes beyond Sunday morning attendance. For instance, today, I spoke at two events that were not well attended. One was the Tulsa area Ministers Fellowship. We combine with the local Church of Christ preachers for lunch once a month. One of the guys asked me to talk about the stroke and some lessons that I had picked up through this last year or so. So I showed up. Problem was that most of the guys that attend it did not. There were only 3-4 guys from Christian Churches and about 10 from the Cof C. That is a pretty low crowd. We ate, someone lamented about the lack of attendance ( after all, we are all preachers), and then they turned it over to me. I talked for about 30 minutes. Then we did something special. They put me in the middle of a circle,laid hands on me and prayed. It was a very powerful moment for me. And so meaningful. Most of the guys I did not know, but the encouragement of those moments were very important to me.
Then I had to scoot to a graveside service in Tulsa. I did not know what to expect. I did not know the lady, but her sister, who I had not seen in 10 years or so, called me and asked me to do the service. Davida was 90 years old. Never married. She has two sisters, one in her mid 80's, whose husband passed away 25 years ago ( no children), and another sister in her early 80's who has never been married. They did not live here, but in the OKC area. But she wanted to be buried in Tulsa.
So I went not knowing what to expect. It was the smallest service I have ever done. There were 4 people there. 2 sisters, one cousion and a sorority sister of Davida's.
Prayer, scripture, obituary, remarks and prayer. Took about 15 minutes ( that was me stretching it a bit). But then what happened after was so cool. The two sisters and the cousion and sorority sister started telling stories. That went on for 30 minutes. Then as we left the younger sister said, "That was a great service... I hope you stick around so you can do mine some day." ( I hope so too.)
I thought about both those events on the way home. Both were small in numbers, but powerful in impact. They were personal. They were spiritual moments of encouragement . They were both uplifting. And they both were important.
Sometimes its not the big gatherings that produce the most important moments. I like that about God.... What did Jesus say? "Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I will be also."
I like that about God. He wants everyone to be saved... He would love Heaven to be populated with people from every nation, tribe and tongue. But it is not the number that counts. It's the soul.
Good lesson for me to remember as well.
The answer is usually, "Things are good." We try to be as vague as possible. If we are growing and things are going great, we don't want to sound egotistical. If things are going bad, we don't want to whine.
But it goes beyond Sunday morning attendance. For instance, today, I spoke at two events that were not well attended. One was the Tulsa area Ministers Fellowship. We combine with the local Church of Christ preachers for lunch once a month. One of the guys asked me to talk about the stroke and some lessons that I had picked up through this last year or so. So I showed up. Problem was that most of the guys that attend it did not. There were only 3-4 guys from Christian Churches and about 10 from the Cof C. That is a pretty low crowd. We ate, someone lamented about the lack of attendance ( after all, we are all preachers), and then they turned it over to me. I talked for about 30 minutes. Then we did something special. They put me in the middle of a circle,laid hands on me and prayed. It was a very powerful moment for me. And so meaningful. Most of the guys I did not know, but the encouragement of those moments were very important to me.
Then I had to scoot to a graveside service in Tulsa. I did not know what to expect. I did not know the lady, but her sister, who I had not seen in 10 years or so, called me and asked me to do the service. Davida was 90 years old. Never married. She has two sisters, one in her mid 80's, whose husband passed away 25 years ago ( no children), and another sister in her early 80's who has never been married. They did not live here, but in the OKC area. But she wanted to be buried in Tulsa.
So I went not knowing what to expect. It was the smallest service I have ever done. There were 4 people there. 2 sisters, one cousion and a sorority sister of Davida's.
Prayer, scripture, obituary, remarks and prayer. Took about 15 minutes ( that was me stretching it a bit). But then what happened after was so cool. The two sisters and the cousion and sorority sister started telling stories. That went on for 30 minutes. Then as we left the younger sister said, "That was a great service... I hope you stick around so you can do mine some day." ( I hope so too.)
I thought about both those events on the way home. Both were small in numbers, but powerful in impact. They were personal. They were spiritual moments of encouragement . They were both uplifting. And they both were important.
Sometimes its not the big gatherings that produce the most important moments. I like that about God.... What did Jesus say? "Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I will be also."
I like that about God. He wants everyone to be saved... He would love Heaven to be populated with people from every nation, tribe and tongue. But it is not the number that counts. It's the soul.
Good lesson for me to remember as well.
Monday, May 07, 2007
THIS AND THAT....
Some thoughts about this and that...
On Saturday May 5th, we journeyed to Oklahoma State University to watch Joel recieve his degree. We have been so proud of him. He has worked hard for four years to get to this point. He had some scholarship money, but he worked 30 plus hours a week for the last 3 1/2 years to be able to make it to this point. That fact alone makes me very proud of him. He maintained a 3.0 grade point average, and graduated in 4 years. That takes alot of dedication and work.
Joel is a great young man...everyone says that about him. We are blessed to have him in our lives. Now, if you want to pray for him, pray for a good job for him. That is the next big step.
On Sunday May 6th, I shared the vision for the building of our new campus on North Garnett. It is something that I was not comfortable with, but I felt like ( along with others) that it was the right time and right place to do it. So it was Building for Christ: FAQ's. The response from almost eveyone was overwhelmingly positive! I am finding people want to know. And they want to know that there is a vision for the future. Our church is full of people who really do want to make a difference.
We have seen God work in some really significant ways at FCC. Each step in this process has seen the need for a lot of faith. Our leaders have been faith filled believers who know that what we are attempting is far beyond us. We can not do it... but God can.
I think there is a constant lesson before me. Attempting great things, means leaning on someone besides myself. God is my help and my strength.
Rain.... boy are we getting rain. Thunder, lightening, rain and more rain. People complain about it... just as they complained for the last two years when we were getting no rain. It all makes me wonder if God doesn;t just put his fingers in his ears and go, "WAH WAH WAH WAH..."
It sure is green.... and I like green
On Saturday May 5th, we journeyed to Oklahoma State University to watch Joel recieve his degree. We have been so proud of him. He has worked hard for four years to get to this point. He had some scholarship money, but he worked 30 plus hours a week for the last 3 1/2 years to be able to make it to this point. That fact alone makes me very proud of him. He maintained a 3.0 grade point average, and graduated in 4 years. That takes alot of dedication and work.
Joel is a great young man...everyone says that about him. We are blessed to have him in our lives. Now, if you want to pray for him, pray for a good job for him. That is the next big step.
On Sunday May 6th, I shared the vision for the building of our new campus on North Garnett. It is something that I was not comfortable with, but I felt like ( along with others) that it was the right time and right place to do it. So it was Building for Christ: FAQ's. The response from almost eveyone was overwhelmingly positive! I am finding people want to know. And they want to know that there is a vision for the future. Our church is full of people who really do want to make a difference.
We have seen God work in some really significant ways at FCC. Each step in this process has seen the need for a lot of faith. Our leaders have been faith filled believers who know that what we are attempting is far beyond us. We can not do it... but God can.
I think there is a constant lesson before me. Attempting great things, means leaning on someone besides myself. God is my help and my strength.
Rain.... boy are we getting rain. Thunder, lightening, rain and more rain. People complain about it... just as they complained for the last two years when we were getting no rain. It all makes me wonder if God doesn;t just put his fingers in his ears and go, "WAH WAH WAH WAH..."
It sure is green.... and I like green
Friday, April 27, 2007
Jim Minich
When someone "young" dies, it is hard to understand why. Jim Minich falls into that category. Jim was a man from our church who was young. Healthy by most standards, he was a man with an endless amount of energy. He had a strength in his life that was unmatched by most. Even though he had what some might call "handicaps" (i.e. no hand on one arm), he was someone that accomplished many feats that people with two hands could not do. Waterskiing was one of them, wakeboarding and the like. I have seen pictures of him doing flips and turns on the water that amazed me.
He loved sports. He really enjoyed volleyball, and the occassional spike in the preacher's wife's face. (Inside story there). He played on my church league basketball team. He wasn't very good, but he would get out there, play defense, rebound, and shoot from far beyond the 3 point line. ( The backboard took some viscious hits over the yearts) He would not make many of those shots, but he was out there... and it was an inspiration to us. He didn't think he was very good at it, but he kept coming back, and we were glad.
For some reason, its anybody's guess.... he contracted a form of luekemia. Within about 3 weeks, he had suffered several complications. He spent the last 8 weeks fighting in ICU. Eventually his body wore out. And last night he went to be with the Lord.
Jim was a fighter... a fighter in life, and certainly a fighter in death. He endured more than most people would have ever endured over the past 8 weeks. And he kept fighting. He was making ever so slow progress... but yesterday his body gave out.
Many people will question why. Many people will not understand. But for what its worth, from somoene who knew Jim and his family, I think what happened yesterday was a demonstration of God showing His MERCY to Jim and his family. Jim and I had talked about what would happen if this luekemia took him. He so secure in his faith. He had no doubts. His concern was for his wife and daughter. But he knew that if he did not make it, he would be with Jesus.
Some people make think that this was not merciful. But all you had to do is to spend a little time in the ICU unit to know that if he was not going to get completely better, God's mercy would be shown in him taking him to the other side.
I have clinged to a verse in Romans 8:18 for several weeks. I am not always sure why single verses have an impact on me like the do ( especially at certain times.) But this one has... "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."
I keep reminding myself that the "best is yet to come." This is not all there is. Heaven awaits anyone who has trusted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Jim had, and in an instant, he was in the presence of Christ.
It makes it hard for those left behind. But there is a promise wrapped up in Romans 8 that carries us through those times. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." ( Romans 8:28)
I believe that God will show his mercy to Cindy and Emily and to the rest of his family in the coming days. And somehow, even when we can't physically touch it, we will see his mercy played out in their lives.
Jesus said, "I am the ressurection and the Life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whover lieves and believes in me will never die." ( John 11:25)
He loved sports. He really enjoyed volleyball, and the occassional spike in the preacher's wife's face. (Inside story there). He played on my church league basketball team. He wasn't very good, but he would get out there, play defense, rebound, and shoot from far beyond the 3 point line. ( The backboard took some viscious hits over the yearts) He would not make many of those shots, but he was out there... and it was an inspiration to us. He didn't think he was very good at it, but he kept coming back, and we were glad.
For some reason, its anybody's guess.... he contracted a form of luekemia. Within about 3 weeks, he had suffered several complications. He spent the last 8 weeks fighting in ICU. Eventually his body wore out. And last night he went to be with the Lord.
Jim was a fighter... a fighter in life, and certainly a fighter in death. He endured more than most people would have ever endured over the past 8 weeks. And he kept fighting. He was making ever so slow progress... but yesterday his body gave out.
Many people will question why. Many people will not understand. But for what its worth, from somoene who knew Jim and his family, I think what happened yesterday was a demonstration of God showing His MERCY to Jim and his family. Jim and I had talked about what would happen if this luekemia took him. He so secure in his faith. He had no doubts. His concern was for his wife and daughter. But he knew that if he did not make it, he would be with Jesus.
Some people make think that this was not merciful. But all you had to do is to spend a little time in the ICU unit to know that if he was not going to get completely better, God's mercy would be shown in him taking him to the other side.
I have clinged to a verse in Romans 8:18 for several weeks. I am not always sure why single verses have an impact on me like the do ( especially at certain times.) But this one has... "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."
I keep reminding myself that the "best is yet to come." This is not all there is. Heaven awaits anyone who has trusted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Jim had, and in an instant, he was in the presence of Christ.
It makes it hard for those left behind. But there is a promise wrapped up in Romans 8 that carries us through those times. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." ( Romans 8:28)
I believe that God will show his mercy to Cindy and Emily and to the rest of his family in the coming days. And somehow, even when we can't physically touch it, we will see his mercy played out in their lives.
Jesus said, "I am the ressurection and the Life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whover lieves and believes in me will never die." ( John 11:25)
Monday, April 23, 2007
God's work in me
SOLD.... Nice words when you are trying to SELL. For the past 9 years, our church has been on a journey. At first, it did not have a name. We ( Elders and Staff) at the time sensed that it was time to look beyond the 7.2 acres on 86th street. We commissioned a team and went looking for land.
The land found us. The Bailey Foundation wanted to put a church out west of town, next to a hospital that they had dreamed up. in 1997 or 1998, that seemed pretty far fetched. But even more far fetched was the idea that the Bailey Foundation wanted to give the land to us. Yes I said, GIVE... 22 acres. God was working.
We accepted. So, we had land...but no real plan. Lots of people wanted to know, "What's next?" We prayed, we prayed and we prayed. Our church went through some transition in leadership. And we prayed more. By 2004, we were ready to "re-locate." But we had no building, no real build-up in money and no specific plan. But God was working...
We launched out on a capital campaign. It was called "Building For Christ." We dreamed and prayed. We asked God to show us. We waited... soon the commitments came in. The final total was a little over 2 million dollars. We were not sure what that would mean in terms of building.
We knew that if we were going to be able to "re-locate", it would take a lot more than 2 million dollars. God was working...
So we put our building on the market. We said "We have a price... and if it is meant by God to be sold, it will sell." It did not sell...but God was working.
3 years later, (March of 2007), the Capital Campaign ended ( sort of). Final ( kind of) totals for the campaign were around $1, 450,00. We were short...but no one doubted that God was working.
Well I guess some doubted... Some left. Some became "standoffish". Some said, "I will beleive God is in it, when I see it."
But God was still working.
Then at the end of the campaign, something interesting happened. The Rejoice Church and Christian School approached us about leasing space for thier school. That conversation moved from lease to purchase. We put a team together and talked... Many prayed. Was this the time?
God was working. He sold the facility in a way that allows us the time to build phase two. He sold the building that allows this land to be used for God-honoring uses in the future ( Chrsitian School). He sold it in a way that demonstrated to the church that God was in this.
God is working. Now, here is the deal. Even if the building had not sold, I still believe God is working. You see, I have learned that God is working when he says "yes, go forward." He is working when he says, "No, don't go there." And he is working when he says, "wait for the right time."
Its not about buildings and land. It is about God. That has been demonstrated in how He has worked in my life. Some days its "yes". Some days its "no." Most days it's "Take one more step and I will tell you where to go from there..."
Hard lessons to learn. I have some pretty important prayers going to God right now. And none of them have anything to do with the building. But I have learned through the building process alot about how to "be led " by God. It's step by step. I am hopeful for some "yes" answers. But if they are "no" or "wait" or " take the next step and the next step only" , I am good with that.
I know He is still working....
The land found us. The Bailey Foundation wanted to put a church out west of town, next to a hospital that they had dreamed up. in 1997 or 1998, that seemed pretty far fetched. But even more far fetched was the idea that the Bailey Foundation wanted to give the land to us. Yes I said, GIVE... 22 acres. God was working.
We accepted. So, we had land...but no real plan. Lots of people wanted to know, "What's next?" We prayed, we prayed and we prayed. Our church went through some transition in leadership. And we prayed more. By 2004, we were ready to "re-locate." But we had no building, no real build-up in money and no specific plan. But God was working...
We launched out on a capital campaign. It was called "Building For Christ." We dreamed and prayed. We asked God to show us. We waited... soon the commitments came in. The final total was a little over 2 million dollars. We were not sure what that would mean in terms of building.
We knew that if we were going to be able to "re-locate", it would take a lot more than 2 million dollars. God was working...
So we put our building on the market. We said "We have a price... and if it is meant by God to be sold, it will sell." It did not sell...but God was working.
3 years later, (March of 2007), the Capital Campaign ended ( sort of). Final ( kind of) totals for the campaign were around $1, 450,00. We were short...but no one doubted that God was working.
Well I guess some doubted... Some left. Some became "standoffish". Some said, "I will beleive God is in it, when I see it."
But God was still working.
Then at the end of the campaign, something interesting happened. The Rejoice Church and Christian School approached us about leasing space for thier school. That conversation moved from lease to purchase. We put a team together and talked... Many prayed. Was this the time?
God was working. He sold the facility in a way that allows us the time to build phase two. He sold the building that allows this land to be used for God-honoring uses in the future ( Chrsitian School). He sold it in a way that demonstrated to the church that God was in this.
God is working. Now, here is the deal. Even if the building had not sold, I still believe God is working. You see, I have learned that God is working when he says "yes, go forward." He is working when he says, "No, don't go there." And he is working when he says, "wait for the right time."
Its not about buildings and land. It is about God. That has been demonstrated in how He has worked in my life. Some days its "yes". Some days its "no." Most days it's "Take one more step and I will tell you where to go from there..."
Hard lessons to learn. I have some pretty important prayers going to God right now. And none of them have anything to do with the building. But I have learned through the building process alot about how to "be led " by God. It's step by step. I am hopeful for some "yes" answers. But if they are "no" or "wait" or " take the next step and the next step only" , I am good with that.
I know He is still working....
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Faith in Christ...Our only hope
Thoughts....
Our country suffers grief. The shooting at Virginia Tech grips our nation today. There are questions. Who? Why? How can this happen?
Our media is immediately on top of the authorities. Their questions, in an attempt to fill coverage and time focuses on the decision making of the President and Police.
Maybe it is just me, but the logistics of "locking down" a campus with 9,ooo residents and 14,000 commuters would be impossible. But beyond that, it is incomprehensible to me that in the effort to get the story, this would be the focus.
We live in a evil and fallen world. Not everyone is this evil. Not everyone acts out on what fantasies they harbor. Not everyone snaps. But there are some out there who simply do what their minds and hearts tell them to do, with no check or balance. And in the middle of it all are innocent people who get hurt. 32students and teachers are killed. Countless friends and family members are affected forever.
God designed and created a different kind of world. It was a world where man and God would spend eternity together. However, Satan had his way. And the world changed.
This is the world we live in. It is the world that mankind has lived in since the garden.
When Jesus came, things changed again. The plan to redeem mankind reached its pinnacle when Christ rose from the dead. We (believers) are charged to get the message out again. Things are changing... Jesus will return and He will be in total control. We have a second chance.
Then the mess here on earth will be resolved. Until then, mankind will continue to make terrible and destrctive decisions and innocent people will get hurt.
The answer: faith in Christ. He conquered death once and for all. He is our only hope.
Our country suffers grief. The shooting at Virginia Tech grips our nation today. There are questions. Who? Why? How can this happen?
Our media is immediately on top of the authorities. Their questions, in an attempt to fill coverage and time focuses on the decision making of the President and Police.
Maybe it is just me, but the logistics of "locking down" a campus with 9,ooo residents and 14,000 commuters would be impossible. But beyond that, it is incomprehensible to me that in the effort to get the story, this would be the focus.
We live in a evil and fallen world. Not everyone is this evil. Not everyone acts out on what fantasies they harbor. Not everyone snaps. But there are some out there who simply do what their minds and hearts tell them to do, with no check or balance. And in the middle of it all are innocent people who get hurt. 32students and teachers are killed. Countless friends and family members are affected forever.
God designed and created a different kind of world. It was a world where man and God would spend eternity together. However, Satan had his way. And the world changed.
This is the world we live in. It is the world that mankind has lived in since the garden.
When Jesus came, things changed again. The plan to redeem mankind reached its pinnacle when Christ rose from the dead. We (believers) are charged to get the message out again. Things are changing... Jesus will return and He will be in total control. We have a second chance.
Then the mess here on earth will be resolved. Until then, mankind will continue to make terrible and destrctive decisions and innocent people will get hurt.
The answer: faith in Christ. He conquered death once and for all. He is our only hope.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
A long day called "Saturday."
Mike Cope, minister at Highland Church of Christ in Abiliene Texas quotes Ann Lamont in a recent blog post.
"I don't have the personality for Good Friday, for the ressurection. I'd like to skip ahead to the ressurection." (Plan B.)
I am the same way. Good Friday is distasteful, uncomfortable, inhumane, angry, ugly and painful. AND NECCESARY. I preached about this last Sunday, saying, "If Jesus does not go to the Cross, he is NOT the Son of God. " The bottom line is that there is no Easter morning, no "sunrise service" at the tomb, no celebration of Pentecost 50 days later, and no Christianity, without the Cross.
Ours is a culture that loves to fast forward past the "bad" parts of a story to get to the climax. (Isn't one of the points of DVR's?). But you cannot DVR this story. The best thing to do is to wade into the deep waters of the pain and agony of "It is finished." ( John 19:30). Realize that what Jesus finished on the cross was real. The redemptive plan of God was it for you and me. If He does not finish, we are in deep trouble spiritually. We are left to make sense of sin and wrath, sorrow and separation from God on our own. I am not able to do that. I needed the help, the plan, and the stamina of Jesus who went all the way.
Today I was thinking about Saturday some 2000 years ago. What a dark day it must have been for those who had poured everything into Jesus. What a difficult time it must have been for those who had "left everything" to follow Jesus. Now the one they followed was in a tomb, and they were left to contemplate their future. What would they do now? What would their families and friends say? How would the escape the persecution that was certainly to follow? They did not live in the shadows over the previous three years. They were "out there, front and center. They had been in the "thick of things" for over three plus years. Now what do they do? How would they live their lives now?
What a powerful statement of love from God. For in a short few hours, they found out that what Jesus said was true... "Destroy this temple and in three days I will raise it up again." HE DID!
Tomorrow, we celebrate! But we should not forget that there were about 72 hours where nothing was celebrated by the followers of Jesus. All they could do is pray and stick together.
I am thankful for the "next day..." I am looking forward to it... big time1
"I don't have the personality for Good Friday, for the ressurection. I'd like to skip ahead to the ressurection." (Plan B.)
I am the same way. Good Friday is distasteful, uncomfortable, inhumane, angry, ugly and painful. AND NECCESARY. I preached about this last Sunday, saying, "If Jesus does not go to the Cross, he is NOT the Son of God. " The bottom line is that there is no Easter morning, no "sunrise service" at the tomb, no celebration of Pentecost 50 days later, and no Christianity, without the Cross.
Ours is a culture that loves to fast forward past the "bad" parts of a story to get to the climax. (Isn't one of the points of DVR's?). But you cannot DVR this story. The best thing to do is to wade into the deep waters of the pain and agony of "It is finished." ( John 19:30). Realize that what Jesus finished on the cross was real. The redemptive plan of God was it for you and me. If He does not finish, we are in deep trouble spiritually. We are left to make sense of sin and wrath, sorrow and separation from God on our own. I am not able to do that. I needed the help, the plan, and the stamina of Jesus who went all the way.
Today I was thinking about Saturday some 2000 years ago. What a dark day it must have been for those who had poured everything into Jesus. What a difficult time it must have been for those who had "left everything" to follow Jesus. Now the one they followed was in a tomb, and they were left to contemplate their future. What would they do now? What would their families and friends say? How would the escape the persecution that was certainly to follow? They did not live in the shadows over the previous three years. They were "out there, front and center. They had been in the "thick of things" for over three plus years. Now what do they do? How would they live their lives now?
What a powerful statement of love from God. For in a short few hours, they found out that what Jesus said was true... "Destroy this temple and in three days I will raise it up again." HE DID!
Tomorrow, we celebrate! But we should not forget that there were about 72 hours where nothing was celebrated by the followers of Jesus. All they could do is pray and stick together.
I am thankful for the "next day..." I am looking forward to it... big time1
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
New Hope
Some would say that "they" live in a nearly perfect world. The Amish live a very simple life, in a very complex day. Their families seem strong. They have a strong faith in God. They are depenedent on very few for very little.
So six months ago, someone from the outside intruded upon their lives and destroyed some of that innocence and simplicity. When the deranged man entered that school house in Nickel Mines Pa. everything changed. Now this secluded community would be listed among Columbine, Joneshboro, Springfield and Ft. Gibson. Places where school children had been gunned down by fellow students or assailants.
What made this even more difficult was the fact that "they" had to let the rest of the world in. From helicopters to satellite trucks, news organizations swooped in. They wanted to respect their privacy and their beliefs, but the story had to be told.
I am glad the story was told. Why? Because it is a story of hope. When faced with the worst of all tragedies, the Amish found hope in thier faith and in each other. When asked what they would do about their grief and pain, they often said that they would trust God, forgive the man, and reach out to his family. They would find strength in God. They would find purpose through this pain.
Those were not just words. They did reach out to the man's wife and kids. The Amish people called on them, surrounded them and cared for them. They knew there was another family who had experienced a terrible tragedy in their lives. They raised money for that family, establishing a fund for them.
Why? Well, when asked, it is almost as if their answer was, "well, why not?" They knew the scriptures commanded them to forgive. They knew that Jesus had said this often. They knew retaliation and hate was not the answer. For those who believe in God, love is the order of the day.
The ressurection of Jesus Christ does something to us that nothing else can do. It gives us real hope in the face of darkness and sorrow. Knowing that there is someone ( Jesus) who could go to the cross and say, "Forgive them", and then rise from the dead is enough to pay attention and obey His commands, no matter what we "feel" like.
Hope... It comes in all kinds of packages. It comes in so many different forms. It does not guarentee protection against sorrow and tradgedy. It does help us see beyond it all to something that is better. It helps us see people as Jesus sees them.
The kids in Nickel Mines went to school yesterday in their new school building. It still has no electricity. It is a one room school house. There are new things this time, ( skylights for one).
There are secure doors and paved parking lots.
And there is hope. By the way, they named the school. It is an appropriate name for sure. "New Hope School."
We should all be so blessed as to spend time in that school.... the school of New Hope.
So six months ago, someone from the outside intruded upon their lives and destroyed some of that innocence and simplicity. When the deranged man entered that school house in Nickel Mines Pa. everything changed. Now this secluded community would be listed among Columbine, Joneshboro, Springfield and Ft. Gibson. Places where school children had been gunned down by fellow students or assailants.
What made this even more difficult was the fact that "they" had to let the rest of the world in. From helicopters to satellite trucks, news organizations swooped in. They wanted to respect their privacy and their beliefs, but the story had to be told.
I am glad the story was told. Why? Because it is a story of hope. When faced with the worst of all tragedies, the Amish found hope in thier faith and in each other. When asked what they would do about their grief and pain, they often said that they would trust God, forgive the man, and reach out to his family. They would find strength in God. They would find purpose through this pain.
Those were not just words. They did reach out to the man's wife and kids. The Amish people called on them, surrounded them and cared for them. They knew there was another family who had experienced a terrible tragedy in their lives. They raised money for that family, establishing a fund for them.
Why? Well, when asked, it is almost as if their answer was, "well, why not?" They knew the scriptures commanded them to forgive. They knew that Jesus had said this often. They knew retaliation and hate was not the answer. For those who believe in God, love is the order of the day.
The ressurection of Jesus Christ does something to us that nothing else can do. It gives us real hope in the face of darkness and sorrow. Knowing that there is someone ( Jesus) who could go to the cross and say, "Forgive them", and then rise from the dead is enough to pay attention and obey His commands, no matter what we "feel" like.
Hope... It comes in all kinds of packages. It comes in so many different forms. It does not guarentee protection against sorrow and tradgedy. It does help us see beyond it all to something that is better. It helps us see people as Jesus sees them.
The kids in Nickel Mines went to school yesterday in their new school building. It still has no electricity. It is a one room school house. There are new things this time, ( skylights for one).
There are secure doors and paved parking lots.
And there is hope. By the way, they named the school. It is an appropriate name for sure. "New Hope School."
We should all be so blessed as to spend time in that school.... the school of New Hope.
Monday, April 02, 2007
1 year ago tomorrow...
One year ago tomorrow ( April 3rd) I had a stroke. Tonight, I will get to watch the NCAA Championship game from my living room, which was what I was planning to do last year. But I ended up at St. Francis and as they say, "the rest is history."
It is has been a very interesting year. I am glad to turn to page on the last year and look forward to a new one. My life has changed in many ways. Physically I am not the same. I have lost about 25% of my pre-stroke weight. I still have some goals to accomplish on this front, but I am on my way. I am in pretty good shape, inspite of the setback of a month ago. Some say this is the "kinder, gentler" Charlie. I guess that could be true.
My heart has changed as well. I feel things as deeply as I ever have. (Which can get me into trouble.) Certainly my faith and trust in God has deepened in some significant ways. I realized that what I preached about "digging your wells deep" was true, and that through the years I had developed a fairly deep well of faith that carried me through. I am back to digging.
I am still tired, but not as tired as I was 6 months ago. Dr. Edwards said, "2-3 years to recover." I didn't believe her when she said that. I do now. It is a journey with lots of ups and downs, curves and straightaways and certainly a few potholes along the way.
I just want to say thank you to so many.
To God, who gives me breath for today and hope for my future.
To Pam, who continues to stand beside me, sometimes reminding me of things I have forgotten, helping me say "no" to the things I need to say "no" to and "yes" to the things I need to say "yes" to. She loves me. That is all I have to say about that! We celebrate 26 years on Thursday. I am glad she hung around for the last one...although there was never any doubt that she would.
To my kids, who have been so supportive of both Pam and I. I know that they have been scared off and on, but they really never let me see it. They all ask lots of questions, watch me like a hawk when they are around and really try to pick up Pam when it seems like to much.
To my parents, who have had the added burdened of a son that didn;t feel so well... They prayed and prayed, as so many did. And it worked.
To First Christian Church. They understand my shortcomings, are patient with me and genuinely concerned. They also ( with God's direction and blessing) advanced the kingdom this last year, just proving none of us are indispensable.
To the Elders of First Christian Church. They have shown me more love and compassion than anyone deserves. They are great men of God.
To the staff of FCC. Many of thier lives changed that day to. They picked alot up and have carried the ball. What a great group to work with.
To a special Pastor friend named Deron, who continues to encourage me from a distance.
To Mike, who has picked up the ball in so many ways at church. He has taken on more than he dreamed, and still encourages and protects me.
To special friends who have picked up some things for me. There are too many to mention by name. God knows who they are.
I could go on and on. ( And I know I will miss people... which is the problem when you start naming people.)
What will the coming year hold for me? I really don't know, but I know that God holds my future in His hands. There could be more changes... probably will be. I know that if I trust God, step out on faith and follow His lead, I could be in no better place.
I am thankful for that!
It is has been a very interesting year. I am glad to turn to page on the last year and look forward to a new one. My life has changed in many ways. Physically I am not the same. I have lost about 25% of my pre-stroke weight. I still have some goals to accomplish on this front, but I am on my way. I am in pretty good shape, inspite of the setback of a month ago. Some say this is the "kinder, gentler" Charlie. I guess that could be true.
My heart has changed as well. I feel things as deeply as I ever have. (Which can get me into trouble.) Certainly my faith and trust in God has deepened in some significant ways. I realized that what I preached about "digging your wells deep" was true, and that through the years I had developed a fairly deep well of faith that carried me through. I am back to digging.
I am still tired, but not as tired as I was 6 months ago. Dr. Edwards said, "2-3 years to recover." I didn't believe her when she said that. I do now. It is a journey with lots of ups and downs, curves and straightaways and certainly a few potholes along the way.
I just want to say thank you to so many.
To God, who gives me breath for today and hope for my future.
To Pam, who continues to stand beside me, sometimes reminding me of things I have forgotten, helping me say "no" to the things I need to say "no" to and "yes" to the things I need to say "yes" to. She loves me. That is all I have to say about that! We celebrate 26 years on Thursday. I am glad she hung around for the last one...although there was never any doubt that she would.
To my kids, who have been so supportive of both Pam and I. I know that they have been scared off and on, but they really never let me see it. They all ask lots of questions, watch me like a hawk when they are around and really try to pick up Pam when it seems like to much.
To my parents, who have had the added burdened of a son that didn;t feel so well... They prayed and prayed, as so many did. And it worked.
To First Christian Church. They understand my shortcomings, are patient with me and genuinely concerned. They also ( with God's direction and blessing) advanced the kingdom this last year, just proving none of us are indispensable.
To the Elders of First Christian Church. They have shown me more love and compassion than anyone deserves. They are great men of God.
To the staff of FCC. Many of thier lives changed that day to. They picked alot up and have carried the ball. What a great group to work with.
To a special Pastor friend named Deron, who continues to encourage me from a distance.
To Mike, who has picked up the ball in so many ways at church. He has taken on more than he dreamed, and still encourages and protects me.
To special friends who have picked up some things for me. There are too many to mention by name. God knows who they are.
I could go on and on. ( And I know I will miss people... which is the problem when you start naming people.)
What will the coming year hold for me? I really don't know, but I know that God holds my future in His hands. There could be more changes... probably will be. I know that if I trust God, step out on faith and follow His lead, I could be in no better place.
I am thankful for that!
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Lessons Learned?....or Learning?
As children, we have all heard the saying, in one form or another, "I hope you have learned your lesson." Teachers, parents, coaches, sometimes even law enforcement officials utter that phrase with genuine hope that the same mistake will not be repeated twice.
Interestingly enough, it usually takes several stabs at it for me to learn my lesson. I guess I am slow. So in the interest of accountability, I am writing down some lessons learned, many of the for the "umpteenth" time.
One, I will not live forever. I am not an old man, but I am not getting any younger. I realize that I was not created to live on this earth forever. Someday my life will end, and I will be with God. That is the good news of the gospel.
Two, overoming illness does not mean I am exempt from having setbacks or additional illnesses. I know that. I have seen it over and over ( in other people) . But for some reason, I thought since I had climbed this last mountain so well, that there would not be a time where I would "fall" and have to start climbing again. That happened three weeks ago. It has been emotionally draining for me to admit that it happened and may happened again.
Three, the greatest resource we have for dealing with suprsise events like strokes, heart attacks, and other "life changers" is our relationship with God. I often say that we are to "dig our wells" deep in the good times. My was pretty deep a year ago. I drew alot from it to get through the changes in my life. This last setback was different. I found myself coming to God with questions... "Is this what I have to look forward to? What are you trying to teach me? Am I just falling apart? How do I handle this?" The answers have not been always what I have wanted, but am I thankful that God has allowed me to ask.. and reminded to keep asking... It is part of our relationship.
Four, I have great friends. All around me, there are people who are genuniely concerned for me and my family. The pressure I feel is self-induced. The love of church members, small group members, close family friends, and espcially my wife, kids, parents and Pam's parents is real. That includes taking me to task for not managing some things about this well. It includes the genunine expressions of concern about my pace of life, and my willingness to get myself full functioning and healed before I "go crazy"( as one friend puts it).
Five, I need to listen more.... Listen more to God. Listen more to my wife. Listen more to the leaders of the church. I need to listen to my friends. And listen more to loving members of my family and church.
Maybe that is my biggest problem... my mouth has always been bigger than my ears...until this last year. Now, I talk less and listen more... So maybe the adventure for my new life is to continue to listen alot, and apply. God would be happy with that.
Listen and apply...there is the key to learning your lesson. It is a pretty good lesson for all areas of life.
Interestingly enough, it usually takes several stabs at it for me to learn my lesson. I guess I am slow. So in the interest of accountability, I am writing down some lessons learned, many of the for the "umpteenth" time.
One, I will not live forever. I am not an old man, but I am not getting any younger. I realize that I was not created to live on this earth forever. Someday my life will end, and I will be with God. That is the good news of the gospel.
Two, overoming illness does not mean I am exempt from having setbacks or additional illnesses. I know that. I have seen it over and over ( in other people) . But for some reason, I thought since I had climbed this last mountain so well, that there would not be a time where I would "fall" and have to start climbing again. That happened three weeks ago. It has been emotionally draining for me to admit that it happened and may happened again.
Three, the greatest resource we have for dealing with suprsise events like strokes, heart attacks, and other "life changers" is our relationship with God. I often say that we are to "dig our wells" deep in the good times. My was pretty deep a year ago. I drew alot from it to get through the changes in my life. This last setback was different. I found myself coming to God with questions... "Is this what I have to look forward to? What are you trying to teach me? Am I just falling apart? How do I handle this?" The answers have not been always what I have wanted, but am I thankful that God has allowed me to ask.. and reminded to keep asking... It is part of our relationship.
Four, I have great friends. All around me, there are people who are genuniely concerned for me and my family. The pressure I feel is self-induced. The love of church members, small group members, close family friends, and espcially my wife, kids, parents and Pam's parents is real. That includes taking me to task for not managing some things about this well. It includes the genunine expressions of concern about my pace of life, and my willingness to get myself full functioning and healed before I "go crazy"( as one friend puts it).
Five, I need to listen more.... Listen more to God. Listen more to my wife. Listen more to the leaders of the church. I need to listen to my friends. And listen more to loving members of my family and church.
Maybe that is my biggest problem... my mouth has always been bigger than my ears...until this last year. Now, I talk less and listen more... So maybe the adventure for my new life is to continue to listen alot, and apply. God would be happy with that.
Listen and apply...there is the key to learning your lesson. It is a pretty good lesson for all areas of life.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Birthday Greetings
Tomorrow is March 15th. A pretty regular day for most of the world. However, 18 years ago, something happened in our lives that has proved to be an amazing blessing. Our youngest daughter, Abigail, was born.
We lived in a small Northeast Iowa town at the time. It has been a while, but I remember that it was cold and there was a freezing rain or ice storm hanging around. That proved to be a complication in and of itself, because after many hours of labor, the Dr. told us that if the baby did not come, they would have to transport Pam to a nearby city. That was very unattractive to us because of the ice. So we prayed, and Pam worked double hard, and Abigail was born!
I recall that Joel had prayed for most of the time that Pam was pregnant for "his little brother." So on the 15th, I had to break the bad news to him. " Mommy had the baby... and it was a girl." All Joel could say was "Oh, bummer!"
Abigail has been anything but a bummer. She has been such a joy to our families . She demonstrates a wonderful love for people. She loves God and shows it in how she helps people and cares for them. She is fun! It seems like her friends, ( Whitney, Chelci, Erika, and others), love coming to Abigail's house to hang out. We have always been blessed with our kid's friends being here...What fun!
Abigail plans to go to Ozark Christian College in the fall. She wants to be a History Teacher, and serve God in her life. She has wanted to go to Ozark for as long as I can remember. But secretly, if she would have gotten an offer from Duke... it might have been close. She has always been a Blue Devil fan! ( I am kind of glad it came to Ozark...something about the $40,000 tuition was intimidating to me.)
Some people criticized us when we had a fourth child. We were one of the very blessed and fortunate couples who planned for our kids and were allowed to have them in our lives. But it seems like when we told people that our 4th child was coming, we got alot of looks and comments like, "Can you afford it?, Do you know what you are doing?, Have you figured out how this happens yet?"
"Large" families are looked upon in a negative light today. I don't consider our family large. I consider it to be just right. Pam always wanted 4 kids, and it has been right for us.
Let me tell you something ( in love).... "We couldn't have afforded to NOT have that child. ." I can not imagine what our lives would have been like without that bright smile, that chuckle like laugh, , and loving spirit. I am so glad that we were able to have her in our lives, and I fully believe that she will make a huge difference in many lives. She lives for God and wants to be used for Him.
Sometimes 4th kids tend to get "swallowed up" by high achieving siblings. They each cast a shadow at school, church and even in the home. But just as it happened with Joel and Lydia, when the child immediately above them moved out to go to college, the next child blossomed. This is certainly true of Abigail. What a young lady she is !
18 years... boy is that hard to believe. Just seems like yesterday that I was sitting on those steps breaking the bad news to Joel. It turned out to be the best news of the day.
Happy Birthday Abigail!
Dad
We lived in a small Northeast Iowa town at the time. It has been a while, but I remember that it was cold and there was a freezing rain or ice storm hanging around. That proved to be a complication in and of itself, because after many hours of labor, the Dr. told us that if the baby did not come, they would have to transport Pam to a nearby city. That was very unattractive to us because of the ice. So we prayed, and Pam worked double hard, and Abigail was born!
I recall that Joel had prayed for most of the time that Pam was pregnant for "his little brother." So on the 15th, I had to break the bad news to him. " Mommy had the baby... and it was a girl." All Joel could say was "Oh, bummer!"
Abigail has been anything but a bummer. She has been such a joy to our families . She demonstrates a wonderful love for people. She loves God and shows it in how she helps people and cares for them. She is fun! It seems like her friends, ( Whitney, Chelci, Erika, and others), love coming to Abigail's house to hang out. We have always been blessed with our kid's friends being here...What fun!
Abigail plans to go to Ozark Christian College in the fall. She wants to be a History Teacher, and serve God in her life. She has wanted to go to Ozark for as long as I can remember. But secretly, if she would have gotten an offer from Duke... it might have been close. She has always been a Blue Devil fan! ( I am kind of glad it came to Ozark...something about the $40,000 tuition was intimidating to me.)
Some people criticized us when we had a fourth child. We were one of the very blessed and fortunate couples who planned for our kids and were allowed to have them in our lives. But it seems like when we told people that our 4th child was coming, we got alot of looks and comments like, "Can you afford it?, Do you know what you are doing?, Have you figured out how this happens yet?"
"Large" families are looked upon in a negative light today. I don't consider our family large. I consider it to be just right. Pam always wanted 4 kids, and it has been right for us.
Let me tell you something ( in love).... "We couldn't have afforded to NOT have that child. ." I can not imagine what our lives would have been like without that bright smile, that chuckle like laugh, , and loving spirit. I am so glad that we were able to have her in our lives, and I fully believe that she will make a huge difference in many lives. She lives for God and wants to be used for Him.
Sometimes 4th kids tend to get "swallowed up" by high achieving siblings. They each cast a shadow at school, church and even in the home. But just as it happened with Joel and Lydia, when the child immediately above them moved out to go to college, the next child blossomed. This is certainly true of Abigail. What a young lady she is !
18 years... boy is that hard to believe. Just seems like yesterday that I was sitting on those steps breaking the bad news to Joel. It turned out to be the best news of the day.
Happy Birthday Abigail!
Dad
Friday, March 09, 2007
2 steps forward, 1 step back
Its been 10 days or so since I last wrote. Alot has happened. I did go to Joplin, and enjoyed my time with Lydia , James and the Preaching/Teaching crowd. It was a good conference.
By Wednesday I was especially tired, and weary of the crowds, so I came home early. I didn't feel great and did not want to deal with driving home late at night. I missed my wife and my bed.
Thursday (3-1) I worked at home. Mid afternoon, I felt very crummy and had some numbness in my right side, arm and weakness. I also had some blurry vision. Honestly it was not nearly as bad as one year ago, so I waited it out, went to a meeting and carried on. It passed. Later that night Pam and I went to a ball game. While there, I stumbled and nearly fell completely over. Pam caught my one arm, I caught myself against some railing, and went on. But over time I felt increasingly weakened, and unsteady. By Sunday AM, I told the guys at our Prayer time that I did not feel that good. They prayed, and God got me through two services of preaching. I told Pam about the episode on Thursday. She was not happy. Pam said that she and the kids noticed that I was "quiet" alot over the weekend.. and somewhat disengaged. My check up with the Nuerologist was Monday afternoon.
She was irate that I did not go to the hospital when it happened again. What saddened me was that she was mad with Pam, who did not diserve it. She didn't know. I told the Dr. that it was my doing because I kept it from Pam. She was not a happy camper.
So this week, I have seen a real definciency in right side strength and processing. After an MRI, Echocardiogram, EEG, and Doppler Ultrasound of the veins in my neck, the results were given yesterday ( 3-8). Everything but the EEG was excellent. The Brain scans showed more damage when compared to a year ago. Which means something happened.... don't know exactly what to call it, but something happened last week, and more damage was done.
Bottom line, I lost several months of ground that I had gained through rest, rehab and concentration. It is noticeable to me and my family.... probably will not be to alot of other people.
It is kind of like blowing our your knee, rehabing for a year, and then going out and blowing it again. Very discouraging. But God has a plan.
On top of all that, I mentioned to the Dr. that I had a sore spot in my left leg, that at one time last week I thought might be a blood clot. She decided to send me to the hospital this morning for an ultrasound. It did not hurt any more, just last week when I was in Joplin. I really thought it was a pulled muscle.
Well, low and behold, it was a blood clot, IN THE OTHER LEG!.... I don't get that...but one thing about blood clots in legs.... they do not let you out of their sight, until they have figured it out and started filling you will blood thinner. So 6 hours in the ER produced a grumpy charlie, a tired Pam, and orders to take it easy, take a ton of medicine, and learn to give myself injections of blood clot disolving medicine for the next week. And oh by the way, don't get yourself in a position where you will bleed, because if you do, you will really bleed... even to death. Nice.
I have been discouraged all week...wondering what sense this all makes. I am in better shape than I have been in 15 years... I think I am managing some things well. But God still is not through shaping me yet. He is teaching me to trust Him for every moment in my life. I am learning personally that life is short ( I know that... but I guess I constantly need reminders.)
I also am learning that one setback does not mean you have exhausted your quota of disappointment and setbacks for your life. I guess I was thinking I had paid my dues... but that is not true. It is a lesson I need to learn, especially since I have had so little to deal with in the past 48 years.
I take heart in Romans 5:3ff " Not only so, be we also rejoice in our sufferings, becaused we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance ,character, and character , hope."
Honestly, I don't consider this suffering. But I do take comfort in knowing that my perservance produces character, and my character accesses me to God given hope.
I need that right now... There is a purpose. The Ultrasound today was a gift from God. I had no pain or swelling in my right leg. I am not sure if this clot caused the episode last week, but I suspect that this is not a coincidence. I will give God the credit, and continue to take better care of myself. The reality is that if I did not have that ultra sound, I very well might have been a victim of DVT, or some other bad deal.
I have often said, "Its 2 steps forward and 1 step back." It is trite, but real... and for me now is the time not to give up, but to press on, even carefully and slowly.
During this last week I have also read the book written by Bob and Lee Woodruff. He is the news anchor who survived the IED blast in Bagdad. For the first time, I have found someone who could put into words much of what I feel from a day to day basis. "In an Instant" has encouraged me to see how much worse it could have been for me... and that some of the things I feel inside are real...( Its hard when you feel crummy and yet on the outside you "look great.")
The phrase, "swimming in jell-o" hit me right between the eyes ( no pun intended). It is what I feel most of the days when I wake up feeling , what I call, "foggy."
It is a great book, and I will write more about it in the future.
I appreciate the prayers of everyone who reads this. The future is bright, if still a bit of an uncertainty for me.
Charlie
By Wednesday I was especially tired, and weary of the crowds, so I came home early. I didn't feel great and did not want to deal with driving home late at night. I missed my wife and my bed.
Thursday (3-1) I worked at home. Mid afternoon, I felt very crummy and had some numbness in my right side, arm and weakness. I also had some blurry vision. Honestly it was not nearly as bad as one year ago, so I waited it out, went to a meeting and carried on. It passed. Later that night Pam and I went to a ball game. While there, I stumbled and nearly fell completely over. Pam caught my one arm, I caught myself against some railing, and went on. But over time I felt increasingly weakened, and unsteady. By Sunday AM, I told the guys at our Prayer time that I did not feel that good. They prayed, and God got me through two services of preaching. I told Pam about the episode on Thursday. She was not happy. Pam said that she and the kids noticed that I was "quiet" alot over the weekend.. and somewhat disengaged. My check up with the Nuerologist was Monday afternoon.
She was irate that I did not go to the hospital when it happened again. What saddened me was that she was mad with Pam, who did not diserve it. She didn't know. I told the Dr. that it was my doing because I kept it from Pam. She was not a happy camper.
So this week, I have seen a real definciency in right side strength and processing. After an MRI, Echocardiogram, EEG, and Doppler Ultrasound of the veins in my neck, the results were given yesterday ( 3-8). Everything but the EEG was excellent. The Brain scans showed more damage when compared to a year ago. Which means something happened.... don't know exactly what to call it, but something happened last week, and more damage was done.
Bottom line, I lost several months of ground that I had gained through rest, rehab and concentration. It is noticeable to me and my family.... probably will not be to alot of other people.
It is kind of like blowing our your knee, rehabing for a year, and then going out and blowing it again. Very discouraging. But God has a plan.
On top of all that, I mentioned to the Dr. that I had a sore spot in my left leg, that at one time last week I thought might be a blood clot. She decided to send me to the hospital this morning for an ultrasound. It did not hurt any more, just last week when I was in Joplin. I really thought it was a pulled muscle.
Well, low and behold, it was a blood clot, IN THE OTHER LEG!.... I don't get that...but one thing about blood clots in legs.... they do not let you out of their sight, until they have figured it out and started filling you will blood thinner. So 6 hours in the ER produced a grumpy charlie, a tired Pam, and orders to take it easy, take a ton of medicine, and learn to give myself injections of blood clot disolving medicine for the next week. And oh by the way, don't get yourself in a position where you will bleed, because if you do, you will really bleed... even to death. Nice.
I have been discouraged all week...wondering what sense this all makes. I am in better shape than I have been in 15 years... I think I am managing some things well. But God still is not through shaping me yet. He is teaching me to trust Him for every moment in my life. I am learning personally that life is short ( I know that... but I guess I constantly need reminders.)
I also am learning that one setback does not mean you have exhausted your quota of disappointment and setbacks for your life. I guess I was thinking I had paid my dues... but that is not true. It is a lesson I need to learn, especially since I have had so little to deal with in the past 48 years.
I take heart in Romans 5:3ff " Not only so, be we also rejoice in our sufferings, becaused we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance ,character, and character , hope."
Honestly, I don't consider this suffering. But I do take comfort in knowing that my perservance produces character, and my character accesses me to God given hope.
I need that right now... There is a purpose. The Ultrasound today was a gift from God. I had no pain or swelling in my right leg. I am not sure if this clot caused the episode last week, but I suspect that this is not a coincidence. I will give God the credit, and continue to take better care of myself. The reality is that if I did not have that ultra sound, I very well might have been a victim of DVT, or some other bad deal.
I have often said, "Its 2 steps forward and 1 step back." It is trite, but real... and for me now is the time not to give up, but to press on, even carefully and slowly.
During this last week I have also read the book written by Bob and Lee Woodruff. He is the news anchor who survived the IED blast in Bagdad. For the first time, I have found someone who could put into words much of what I feel from a day to day basis. "In an Instant" has encouraged me to see how much worse it could have been for me... and that some of the things I feel inside are real...( Its hard when you feel crummy and yet on the outside you "look great.")
The phrase, "swimming in jell-o" hit me right between the eyes ( no pun intended). It is what I feel most of the days when I wake up feeling , what I call, "foggy."
It is a great book, and I will write more about it in the future.
I appreciate the prayers of everyone who reads this. The future is bright, if still a bit of an uncertainty for me.
Charlie
Monday, February 26, 2007
This week
This week I am at the Preaching/Teaching Convention in Joplin ( On the campus of Ozark Christian College). I have not gone to a whole convention in years. I realized tonight that I have been kind of dumb about not going to something so good, and so close. It will be a good week.
It is harder to manage my daily time in this kind of environment. I did exercise today, which was good. Don;t know about tomorrow. The day starts early and ends late. We will see.
Maybe the best thing about his is that I get to spend time with James and Lydia. They will be moving away in May, so this time is special.
God is doing some really cool things in me.... more about that later.
It is harder to manage my daily time in this kind of environment. I did exercise today, which was good. Don;t know about tomorrow. The day starts early and ends late. We will see.
Maybe the best thing about his is that I get to spend time with James and Lydia. They will be moving away in May, so this time is special.
God is doing some really cool things in me.... more about that later.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Chasing Daylight
Are you interested in a provocative book? Let me share one with you. Last fall I was given a book to read by a friend. It is entitled "Chasing Daylight...How my forthcoming death transformed my Life." It is written by Eugene O'Kelly.
At first, I thought, "Do I want to read it?" I took it on a plane trip to Oregon and could not put it down. It is an easy read.
Kelly was the CEO of KPMG, a world wide accounting firm. I knew nothing about the firm except that Phil Mickelson wears a visor with KPMG on it. ( Shows you the power of advertising.) In May of 2005 he was diagnosed with brain cancer and told that he had 100 days or so to live.
Kelly was a high achieving, workaholic who had scaled the highest heights of the corporate world. He traveled worldwide, met with the brightest and the best minds in the business world, and basically had everything he wanted in life, including a loving wife and children.
He also had a plan. He was big on plans. He his plan included more time as CEO, then retirement which would consist of then off into the sunset , traveling, playing golf, and enjoying his grandkids.
At age 53 that all changed. With one diagnosis his plan changed from living out the remaining decades of his life, to trying to learn how to die well.
Seems kind of odd doesn't it? "Learning how to die well." We don't do death well. We avoid it, refuse to talk about, most of us refuse to plan for it... we just hope that if we ignore it , it will go away, or will sneak up on us and we won't have to think about it much.
But Kelly had inoperable brain cancer. And He didn't have much time. The book is a facinating look into the mind and heart of someone who had to shift gears quickly and radically. It is a look into how life changes when you are told that you don't have long to live. It is a look into what is really important.
For Kelly, it was a look into how to tie up loose ends, unwind ( as he puts it) the relationships that he had forged over the years, and how to die in a way that leaves more answers than questions.
It is a look at how someone approaches the spiritual parts of life in a crisis. His way was different in many respects than mine would be. But it was enlightening.
It is a look at how someone evaluates options for treatments and make decisions based on the long term prognosis coupled with the short term benefits of those treatments.
It is a facinating book. I read it on the plane... then I read it later in the fall. This weekend I picked up again and read it cover to cover in about three hours. Why? Well, I am preaching this week about "Kingdom Tools for Transformation." The topic Sunday is "Transformed by Crisis."
Nothing can bring about change quicker than crisis. I said, "can." The reason I said "can" is because crisis brings oppportunity. Opportunity for evaluation. Opportunity for a new perspective. Opportunity for hope and peace.
Crisis is not all bad. I don't think it was for Kelly. If anything , for him, it was the right thing at the right time... He was forced to make some internal decisions about who he was, before it was too late.
Not all of us get that chance in such a dramatic fashion. But subtly, we are faced with crisis' on a regular baiss, and each one of those presents an opportunity. Some learn from them, overcome them, grow through them, and even flourish in them. Others do not.
The difference? Well, maybe it is all a matter of perspective. Every crisis brings options. And options demand a response. (Staying the same is a repsonse. Changing is a response. )
10 months ago I sat in a Neurologists office and she said, " You have to change how you live and how you work. If you don't you will be back here again and it will be much worse next time."
I thought the hard part is going to be to change "how I live." That was not that hard. I changed eating habits, sleeping habits, and exercisie habits. People say that there is a kinder, softer, and gentler Charlie now ( makes me wonder what kind of beast I was before). I am 70 lbs lighter than I was then. But all of that came fairly easy.
Changing how I work has been much harder. I find myself falling into some of the same old patterns... I have learned how to "shut it off..." But it is sure easy to let the "work" mind run and run, with no rest. So, I have worked hard to discipline myself... but it is a battle.
After reading "Chasing Daylight" a third time, I realized that Kelly's diagnosis and mine are not alot unlike. He didn't have the amount of time I have been given (so far). But we both had the same objective. To live in the present, to refuse to be dominated by things that we can not control, and to enjoy the presence of those around us. Ultimately we also have one thing in common. We will not live forever.
He did die approximately 100 days after his diagnosis. He had one summer to take care of things.
I have no guarentee of 100 days... I have this breath and this moment...to take care of things.
Ultimately there is good news for me... John 11 says "I am the ressurection and the life. he who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. "
I believe.
Chasing Daylight will make you think...
At first, I thought, "Do I want to read it?" I took it on a plane trip to Oregon and could not put it down. It is an easy read.
Kelly was the CEO of KPMG, a world wide accounting firm. I knew nothing about the firm except that Phil Mickelson wears a visor with KPMG on it. ( Shows you the power of advertising.) In May of 2005 he was diagnosed with brain cancer and told that he had 100 days or so to live.
Kelly was a high achieving, workaholic who had scaled the highest heights of the corporate world. He traveled worldwide, met with the brightest and the best minds in the business world, and basically had everything he wanted in life, including a loving wife and children.
He also had a plan. He was big on plans. He his plan included more time as CEO, then retirement which would consist of then off into the sunset , traveling, playing golf, and enjoying his grandkids.
At age 53 that all changed. With one diagnosis his plan changed from living out the remaining decades of his life, to trying to learn how to die well.
Seems kind of odd doesn't it? "Learning how to die well." We don't do death well. We avoid it, refuse to talk about, most of us refuse to plan for it... we just hope that if we ignore it , it will go away, or will sneak up on us and we won't have to think about it much.
But Kelly had inoperable brain cancer. And He didn't have much time. The book is a facinating look into the mind and heart of someone who had to shift gears quickly and radically. It is a look into how life changes when you are told that you don't have long to live. It is a look into what is really important.
For Kelly, it was a look into how to tie up loose ends, unwind ( as he puts it) the relationships that he had forged over the years, and how to die in a way that leaves more answers than questions.
It is a look at how someone approaches the spiritual parts of life in a crisis. His way was different in many respects than mine would be. But it was enlightening.
It is a look at how someone evaluates options for treatments and make decisions based on the long term prognosis coupled with the short term benefits of those treatments.
It is a facinating book. I read it on the plane... then I read it later in the fall. This weekend I picked up again and read it cover to cover in about three hours. Why? Well, I am preaching this week about "Kingdom Tools for Transformation." The topic Sunday is "Transformed by Crisis."
Nothing can bring about change quicker than crisis. I said, "can." The reason I said "can" is because crisis brings oppportunity. Opportunity for evaluation. Opportunity for a new perspective. Opportunity for hope and peace.
Crisis is not all bad. I don't think it was for Kelly. If anything , for him, it was the right thing at the right time... He was forced to make some internal decisions about who he was, before it was too late.
Not all of us get that chance in such a dramatic fashion. But subtly, we are faced with crisis' on a regular baiss, and each one of those presents an opportunity. Some learn from them, overcome them, grow through them, and even flourish in them. Others do not.
The difference? Well, maybe it is all a matter of perspective. Every crisis brings options. And options demand a response. (Staying the same is a repsonse. Changing is a response. )
10 months ago I sat in a Neurologists office and she said, " You have to change how you live and how you work. If you don't you will be back here again and it will be much worse next time."
I thought the hard part is going to be to change "how I live." That was not that hard. I changed eating habits, sleeping habits, and exercisie habits. People say that there is a kinder, softer, and gentler Charlie now ( makes me wonder what kind of beast I was before). I am 70 lbs lighter than I was then. But all of that came fairly easy.
Changing how I work has been much harder. I find myself falling into some of the same old patterns... I have learned how to "shut it off..." But it is sure easy to let the "work" mind run and run, with no rest. So, I have worked hard to discipline myself... but it is a battle.
After reading "Chasing Daylight" a third time, I realized that Kelly's diagnosis and mine are not alot unlike. He didn't have the amount of time I have been given (so far). But we both had the same objective. To live in the present, to refuse to be dominated by things that we can not control, and to enjoy the presence of those around us. Ultimately we also have one thing in common. We will not live forever.
He did die approximately 100 days after his diagnosis. He had one summer to take care of things.
I have no guarentee of 100 days... I have this breath and this moment...to take care of things.
Ultimately there is good news for me... John 11 says "I am the ressurection and the life. he who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. "
I believe.
Chasing Daylight will make you think...
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Lessons from Life- I am rich
This month I am preaching a series entitled "Kingdom Tools for Transformation." The idea is that God uses things in our lives to transform us... to change us ( Romans 8:29). Each week has highlighted a different thing... Leadership, A book called the Bible, and Servanthood (today). Next week we will talk about the Transforming power of Crisis.
I hesitated when I put this together to go there... It was about three months ago, and I had begun preaching again. I had seen so many good things from the stroke, and I knew that God has used it in a great way in my life.
It was also a great time in our church. There didn't seem to be alot of big crisis' in the church. It seemed like for weeks that we had no one in the hospital.. and nothing really huge brewing on the horizon.
Ah.....I knew that it would change. In the past three weeks we have seen a 19 year old commit suicide... unbelieveable! Such pain and sorrow, and yet we saw God work in a family's life. Then another young man (early 40's) was diagnosed with Cancer of the Esophegus... Very devastaing... to the family. We are privlidge to work with Lori (His wife). Any way... on friday after 8 hours of surgery, he is on the mend. But it is a long road.
In addition to that we have another young man ( 30's) who was diagnosed with Luekemia.. Not the worst kind, but a bad deal. The doctors are optimistic... but the treatment is tough...very tough.
Another young woman slipped and fell on ice and fractured her hip, and finds herself in a wheelchair. Another family is dealing with issues in their homes. Some are dealing with job changes, and even transfers...
Another man and his wife were in the back row today. They are in their 90's and 80's. He is suffering from Alzhiemers, and she is frail. But they were in church, singing the fast songs that we sing in 2nd service.
Each one of these circumstances present a crisis... and each one of them present an opportunity. I am not one to believe that God selects people for specific crisis' to teach them something. That many happen some times, but I think alot of things kind of just happen... as a result of nature, sometimes a result of bad choices...sometimes bad choices made by others... and sometimes there is no real explanation.
But I believe that God can use every circumstance in our life. There are things we can learn. Some lessons are not the earth-shattering..We have to learn to take care of ourselves... We need to learn to lean on others in our time of need. And most certainly we lean on God.
As I talk to people who find themselves in these tough times, it brings me back to 9 months ago. My life was uncertain. I wondered what the future held for me and my family. I wondered what I would get back and how I would react. I wondered if I really had the courage and discipline to change things in my life. I never doubted that God would be there for me...or my wife and kids...or the church. I just knew that I had better change some things and work on some attitudes and actions in my life...
We are all faced with times in our lives when we have to make a choice. We have to choose between fighting on with the help of God, or giving in. These last two weeks I have been inspired by a husband and wife who are wanting to fight on, inspite of the death of their boy. I have visited with a man who faced a terribly difficult surgery and said to me, "I want to live and I will have this surgery." I have seen a young man who has Luekemia and even though treatment is tough, he plowing though it, with the help of a wonderful wife and a strong church. Today, Valerie, ( Broken hip) was in church in a wheelchair. And Bill and Ilene...so faithful for so many years... Wow!
All of them have something in common with me... I have been there... and all of us had the same things going for us... A great and merciful God, a loving and committed family, and a strong prayer driven church that is willing to drop everything to help.
I am rich.... so are they. We could win the lottery... and if we turned our back on God, our families and the church, we would be the poorest of the poor.
So when I preach this Sunday on Crisis, I preach from experience...but not just my own...
God is good.
Charlie
I hesitated when I put this together to go there... It was about three months ago, and I had begun preaching again. I had seen so many good things from the stroke, and I knew that God has used it in a great way in my life.
It was also a great time in our church. There didn't seem to be alot of big crisis' in the church. It seemed like for weeks that we had no one in the hospital.. and nothing really huge brewing on the horizon.
Ah.....I knew that it would change. In the past three weeks we have seen a 19 year old commit suicide... unbelieveable! Such pain and sorrow, and yet we saw God work in a family's life. Then another young man (early 40's) was diagnosed with Cancer of the Esophegus... Very devastaing... to the family. We are privlidge to work with Lori (His wife). Any way... on friday after 8 hours of surgery, he is on the mend. But it is a long road.
In addition to that we have another young man ( 30's) who was diagnosed with Luekemia.. Not the worst kind, but a bad deal. The doctors are optimistic... but the treatment is tough...very tough.
Another young woman slipped and fell on ice and fractured her hip, and finds herself in a wheelchair. Another family is dealing with issues in their homes. Some are dealing with job changes, and even transfers...
Another man and his wife were in the back row today. They are in their 90's and 80's. He is suffering from Alzhiemers, and she is frail. But they were in church, singing the fast songs that we sing in 2nd service.
Each one of these circumstances present a crisis... and each one of them present an opportunity. I am not one to believe that God selects people for specific crisis' to teach them something. That many happen some times, but I think alot of things kind of just happen... as a result of nature, sometimes a result of bad choices...sometimes bad choices made by others... and sometimes there is no real explanation.
But I believe that God can use every circumstance in our life. There are things we can learn. Some lessons are not the earth-shattering..We have to learn to take care of ourselves... We need to learn to lean on others in our time of need. And most certainly we lean on God.
As I talk to people who find themselves in these tough times, it brings me back to 9 months ago. My life was uncertain. I wondered what the future held for me and my family. I wondered what I would get back and how I would react. I wondered if I really had the courage and discipline to change things in my life. I never doubted that God would be there for me...or my wife and kids...or the church. I just knew that I had better change some things and work on some attitudes and actions in my life...
We are all faced with times in our lives when we have to make a choice. We have to choose between fighting on with the help of God, or giving in. These last two weeks I have been inspired by a husband and wife who are wanting to fight on, inspite of the death of their boy. I have visited with a man who faced a terribly difficult surgery and said to me, "I want to live and I will have this surgery." I have seen a young man who has Luekemia and even though treatment is tough, he plowing though it, with the help of a wonderful wife and a strong church. Today, Valerie, ( Broken hip) was in church in a wheelchair. And Bill and Ilene...so faithful for so many years... Wow!
All of them have something in common with me... I have been there... and all of us had the same things going for us... A great and merciful God, a loving and committed family, and a strong prayer driven church that is willing to drop everything to help.
I am rich.... so are they. We could win the lottery... and if we turned our back on God, our families and the church, we would be the poorest of the poor.
So when I preach this Sunday on Crisis, I preach from experience...but not just my own...
God is good.
Charlie
Lessons from Life- I am rich
This month I am preaching a series entitled "Kingdom Tools for Transformation." The idea is that God uses things in our lives to transform us... to change us ( Romans 8:29). Each week has highlighted a different thing... Leadership, A book called the Bible, and Servanthood (today). Next week we will talk about the Transforming power of Crisis.
I hesitated when I put this together to go there... It was about three months ago, and I had begun preaching again. I had seen so many good things from the stroke, and I knew that God has used it in a great way in my life.
It was also a great time in our church. There didn't seem to be alot of big crisis' in the church. It seemed like for weeks that we had no one in the hospital.. and nothing really huge brewing on the horizon.
Ah.....I knew that it would change. In the past three weeks we have seen a 19 year old commit suicide... unbelieveable! Such pain and sorrow, and yet we saw God work in a family's life. Then another young man (early 40's) was diagnosed with Cancer of the Esophegus... Very devastaing... to the family. We are privlidge to work with Lori (His wife). Any way... on friday after 8 hours of surgery, he is on the mend. But it is a long road.
In addition to that we have another young man ( 30's) who was diagnosed with Luekemia.. Not the worst kind, but a bad deal. The doctors are optimistic... but the treatment is tough...very tough.
Another young woman slipped and fell on ice and fractured her hip, and finds herself in a wheelchair. Another family is dealing with issues in their homes. Some are dealing with job changes, and even transfers...
Another man and his wife were in the back row today. They are in their 90's and 80's. He is suffering from Alzhiemers, and she is frail. But they were in church, singing the fast songs that we sing in 2nd service.
Each one of these circumstances present a crisis... and each one of them present an opportunity. I am not one to believe that God selects people for specific crisis' to teach them something. That many happen some times, but I think alot of things kind of just happen... as a result of nature, sometimes a result of bad choices...sometimes bad choices made by others... and sometimes there is no real explanation.
But I believe that God can use every circumstance in our life. There are things we can learn. Some lessons are not the earth-shattering..We have to learn to take care of ourselves... We need to learn to lean on others in our time of need. And most certainly we lean on God.
As I talk to people who find themselves in these tough times, it brings me back to 9 months ago. My life was uncertain. I wondered what the future held for me and my family. I wondered what I would get back and how I would react. I wondered if I really had the courage and discipline to change things in my life. I never doubted that God would be there for me...or my wife and kids...or the church. I just knew that I had better change some things and work on some attitudes and actions in my life...
We are all faced with times in our lives when we have to make a choice. We have to choose between fighting on with the help of God, or giving in. These last two weeks I have been inspired by a husband and wife who are wanting to fight on, inspite of the death of their boy. I have visited with a man who faced a terribly difficult surgery and said to me, "I want to live and I will have this surgery." I have seen a young man who has Luekemia and even though treatment is tough, he plowing though it, with the help of a wonderful wife and a strong church. Today, Valerie, ( Broken hip) was in church in a wheelchair. And Bill and Ilene...so faithful for so many years... Wow!
All of them have something in common with me... I have been there... and all of us had the same things going for us... A great and merciful God, a loving and committed family, and a strong prayer driven church that is willing to drop everything to help.
I am rich.... so are they. We could win the lottery... and if we turned our back on God, our families and the church, we would be the poorest of the poor.
So when I preach this Sunday on Crisis, I preach from experience...but not just my own...
God is good.
Charlie
I hesitated when I put this together to go there... It was about three months ago, and I had begun preaching again. I had seen so many good things from the stroke, and I knew that God has used it in a great way in my life.
It was also a great time in our church. There didn't seem to be alot of big crisis' in the church. It seemed like for weeks that we had no one in the hospital.. and nothing really huge brewing on the horizon.
Ah.....I knew that it would change. In the past three weeks we have seen a 19 year old commit suicide... unbelieveable! Such pain and sorrow, and yet we saw God work in a family's life. Then another young man (early 40's) was diagnosed with Cancer of the Esophegus... Very devastaing... to the family. We are privlidge to work with Lori (His wife). Any way... on friday after 8 hours of surgery, he is on the mend. But it is a long road.
In addition to that we have another young man ( 30's) who was diagnosed with Luekemia.. Not the worst kind, but a bad deal. The doctors are optimistic... but the treatment is tough...very tough.
Another young woman slipped and fell on ice and fractured her hip, and finds herself in a wheelchair. Another family is dealing with issues in their homes. Some are dealing with job changes, and even transfers...
Another man and his wife were in the back row today. They are in their 90's and 80's. He is suffering from Alzhiemers, and she is frail. But they were in church, singing the fast songs that we sing in 2nd service.
Each one of these circumstances present a crisis... and each one of them present an opportunity. I am not one to believe that God selects people for specific crisis' to teach them something. That many happen some times, but I think alot of things kind of just happen... as a result of nature, sometimes a result of bad choices...sometimes bad choices made by others... and sometimes there is no real explanation.
But I believe that God can use every circumstance in our life. There are things we can learn. Some lessons are not the earth-shattering..We have to learn to take care of ourselves... We need to learn to lean on others in our time of need. And most certainly we lean on God.
As I talk to people who find themselves in these tough times, it brings me back to 9 months ago. My life was uncertain. I wondered what the future held for me and my family. I wondered what I would get back and how I would react. I wondered if I really had the courage and discipline to change things in my life. I never doubted that God would be there for me...or my wife and kids...or the church. I just knew that I had better change some things and work on some attitudes and actions in my life...
We are all faced with times in our lives when we have to make a choice. We have to choose between fighting on with the help of God, or giving in. These last two weeks I have been inspired by a husband and wife who are wanting to fight on, inspite of the death of their boy. I have visited with a man who faced a terribly difficult surgery and said to me, "I want to live and I will have this surgery." I have seen a young man who has Luekemia and even though treatment is tough, he plowing though it, with the help of a wonderful wife and a strong church. Today, Valerie, ( Broken hip) was in church in a wheelchair. And Bill and Ilene...so faithful for so many years... Wow!
All of them have something in common with me... I have been there... and all of us had the same things going for us... A great and merciful God, a loving and committed family, and a strong prayer driven church that is willing to drop everything to help.
I am rich.... so are they. We could win the lottery... and if we turned our back on God, our families and the church, we would be the poorest of the poor.
So when I preach this Sunday on Crisis, I preach from experience...but not just my own...
God is good.
Charlie
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
A Valentines note...
Its been "forever" since I blogged. A friend reminded me of that and assumed that it was because I was too busy... I shrugged it off, but then later thought about it and took some inventory... I am allowing too many things to crowd my day...and it shuts out other things that are important to me, my health and others... To that friend... THANKS!
I got up this AM and saw the snow flying... here in OK. But it is a nice kind of snow. It is brutally cold, but the snow will not pile up (or so they say), like it is in the east today.
Valentines day... snow.... it causes me to wax eloquent for a moment.
On Feb. of 1980, I met a girl at college. I had seen her around campus from time to time, and thought she was pretty cool. But I was playing basketball, working alot and trying to keep my head above water with the classes. No time for a relationship. But I just couldn't help myself.
On one cold evening, we both got invited to the same birthday party. ( And Austrailian girl's mom flew all the way to Joplin Mo...to throw a party for her 21st birthday.) Well, some might call it fate, some might call it luck, some might call it the work of the Holy Spirit of God, but whatever it was, She and I found ourselves in a line playing a game where you pass a lifesaver from one toothpick to another. We really did not know each other, but close encounters like that are rare and far between for guys like me. It was a "Wow" moment.
Later , I saw her at a ballgame. I told my friend on the team, "I am going to ask her out." ( I was at the usual place- the end of the bench....with my friend... I guess my level of concentration was not good, but at that moment, it was in the "right" place)
Anyway, I digress. I went over after the game and said something like, "Hey would you like to go get something to drink in a little bit.". She said "yes". Off to McDonalds it was! And I got her back to the dorm after curfew... And from then on, it is whirlwind city.
Six weeks later we were engaged. I just knew. She just knew. ( We were 22 and 21). We were married a year later... and it has been so great.
4 kids later, we still laugh at a picture of our kids dancing at a rest stop somewhere in the midwest. We still dream about the future. We still love spending dinner time together. Most nights any more, we are alone. Three kids are gone ( 2 are married, one away at college). Our youngest at Sonic, or is involved with friends at church. So there are lots of evenings at home. Some nights we talk alot ( but not as much as we used to.... the stroke has robbed me of some of my conversational skills). But they are good friendship kind of talks. They are rarely earth shattering by anyone else's standards. But to me, they are comforting...and they are funny.
We laugh alot at each other... We "high five" each other. We pass electrical charges in the winter through a kiss. ( We have to get a humidifier) We discuss how blessed we are...especially in light of the many issues that our friends face. We share a chocolate desert - one with two spoons...
We will have been married 26 years on April 5th. The 25th anniversary was spent in a hospital. I am so glad that I am around to celebrate the 26th. I hope for 26, or 36 more...And I look forward to the friendship deepening... sharing our lives with our children ( and grandchildren too- no pressure kids...just hope). I look forward to new challenges and new dreams... that are done together. And I pray daily that our lives will be a good witness of what it means to travel this journey we call life TOGETHER. It is what God intended for us.
Pam, I love you... You are amazing. You are God's great gift to me.
Charlie
I got up this AM and saw the snow flying... here in OK. But it is a nice kind of snow. It is brutally cold, but the snow will not pile up (or so they say), like it is in the east today.
Valentines day... snow.... it causes me to wax eloquent for a moment.
On Feb. of 1980, I met a girl at college. I had seen her around campus from time to time, and thought she was pretty cool. But I was playing basketball, working alot and trying to keep my head above water with the classes. No time for a relationship. But I just couldn't help myself.
On one cold evening, we both got invited to the same birthday party. ( And Austrailian girl's mom flew all the way to Joplin Mo...to throw a party for her 21st birthday.) Well, some might call it fate, some might call it luck, some might call it the work of the Holy Spirit of God, but whatever it was, She and I found ourselves in a line playing a game where you pass a lifesaver from one toothpick to another. We really did not know each other, but close encounters like that are rare and far between for guys like me. It was a "Wow" moment.
Later , I saw her at a ballgame. I told my friend on the team, "I am going to ask her out." ( I was at the usual place- the end of the bench....with my friend... I guess my level of concentration was not good, but at that moment, it was in the "right" place)
Anyway, I digress. I went over after the game and said something like, "Hey would you like to go get something to drink in a little bit.". She said "yes". Off to McDonalds it was! And I got her back to the dorm after curfew... And from then on, it is whirlwind city.
Six weeks later we were engaged. I just knew. She just knew. ( We were 22 and 21). We were married a year later... and it has been so great.
4 kids later, we still laugh at a picture of our kids dancing at a rest stop somewhere in the midwest. We still dream about the future. We still love spending dinner time together. Most nights any more, we are alone. Three kids are gone ( 2 are married, one away at college). Our youngest at Sonic, or is involved with friends at church. So there are lots of evenings at home. Some nights we talk alot ( but not as much as we used to.... the stroke has robbed me of some of my conversational skills). But they are good friendship kind of talks. They are rarely earth shattering by anyone else's standards. But to me, they are comforting...and they are funny.
We laugh alot at each other... We "high five" each other. We pass electrical charges in the winter through a kiss. ( We have to get a humidifier) We discuss how blessed we are...especially in light of the many issues that our friends face. We share a chocolate desert - one with two spoons...
We will have been married 26 years on April 5th. The 25th anniversary was spent in a hospital. I am so glad that I am around to celebrate the 26th. I hope for 26, or 36 more...And I look forward to the friendship deepening... sharing our lives with our children ( and grandchildren too- no pressure kids...just hope). I look forward to new challenges and new dreams... that are done together. And I pray daily that our lives will be a good witness of what it means to travel this journey we call life TOGETHER. It is what God intended for us.
Pam, I love you... You are amazing. You are God's great gift to me.
Charlie
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Faithful....
This morning I had the opportunity to participate in the funeral for Paula Stout. I did not know her well. But I know lots of her family. And on occasion, I did get to talk with her . Most of the visits were brief, but encouraging.
In my remarks I said that a 250 word obituary certainly does not do someone like Paula justice. She was so much more than date of birth, date of death, and all the dates in between.
I looked out over her family as I talked and thought... "Wow, there are some really great people out there."
When it is all said and done, it is relationships that count. Our relationship with the Lord is the most important. Paula had been a Christian since 1934. That is 73 years! During that time she led her husband to the Lord. She raised 4 children , all of whom are Christians. She has 13 grandchildren, and 17 great grandchildren, all of whom have seen her faith in action.
She had a great relationship with the Church. I think that this is the thing that stand with me the most. I don't know what the count would be, but Paula Stout has seen alot of preachers come and go over the last 73 years. One thing was constant... she stayed. I am sure there were ups and downs, some good times and some bad in the church ( there always are), but she stayed faithful. I imagine that there were changes that she did not care for, personalities that rubbed her the wrong way, and some frustration , but....she stayed.
The church of Jesus Christ is built on the backs and faith of people like Paula Stout ( And Jack). They are not flashy. They don't always take leadership roles where they are out front. But the stay... and they give.... and they serve, (most often behind the scenes.)
A lot of us get alot of credit for the things that people like Paula has done. It is humbling when we stop long enough to think about it. Where would our church be with out people like Paula Stout, Don Kerr, Paul Fuller, Ben and Deloris Harper, Bill and Gloria Kirby and a multitude of others? Where we would be if those people abandoned their desire to worship God, serve His Church and love their people? Where would we be if they did not provide a great example of faithfulness to thier families, friends, neighbors and co-workers?
God knew what He was doing when he compared the church to a body. Some parts get greater honor... but no part is indispensible. For the body to work, IT MUST have people like Paula Stout.
It was a good reminder for me.... I need to appreciate those people more... Thank God for them more, and do all I can to be faithful to Him and His Church...
I don't know who reads this or who does not...but if you do, and you are having trouble "staying" with your church... remember this... You are important. You are loved. You are worth dying for. And the one who died for you, died for the church you are a part of. It is worth it to spend your life being faithful to Him and His Church.
I plan to do that... I hope you will too.
In my remarks I said that a 250 word obituary certainly does not do someone like Paula justice. She was so much more than date of birth, date of death, and all the dates in between.
I looked out over her family as I talked and thought... "Wow, there are some really great people out there."
When it is all said and done, it is relationships that count. Our relationship with the Lord is the most important. Paula had been a Christian since 1934. That is 73 years! During that time she led her husband to the Lord. She raised 4 children , all of whom are Christians. She has 13 grandchildren, and 17 great grandchildren, all of whom have seen her faith in action.
She had a great relationship with the Church. I think that this is the thing that stand with me the most. I don't know what the count would be, but Paula Stout has seen alot of preachers come and go over the last 73 years. One thing was constant... she stayed. I am sure there were ups and downs, some good times and some bad in the church ( there always are), but she stayed faithful. I imagine that there were changes that she did not care for, personalities that rubbed her the wrong way, and some frustration , but....she stayed.
The church of Jesus Christ is built on the backs and faith of people like Paula Stout ( And Jack). They are not flashy. They don't always take leadership roles where they are out front. But the stay... and they give.... and they serve, (most often behind the scenes.)
A lot of us get alot of credit for the things that people like Paula has done. It is humbling when we stop long enough to think about it. Where would our church be with out people like Paula Stout, Don Kerr, Paul Fuller, Ben and Deloris Harper, Bill and Gloria Kirby and a multitude of others? Where we would be if those people abandoned their desire to worship God, serve His Church and love their people? Where would we be if they did not provide a great example of faithfulness to thier families, friends, neighbors and co-workers?
God knew what He was doing when he compared the church to a body. Some parts get greater honor... but no part is indispensible. For the body to work, IT MUST have people like Paula Stout.
It was a good reminder for me.... I need to appreciate those people more... Thank God for them more, and do all I can to be faithful to Him and His Church...
I don't know who reads this or who does not...but if you do, and you are having trouble "staying" with your church... remember this... You are important. You are loved. You are worth dying for. And the one who died for you, died for the church you are a part of. It is worth it to spend your life being faithful to Him and His Church.
I plan to do that... I hope you will too.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Its been a while...
It has been a while since I blogged last... Let's see.... what's been going on?
ICE STORM 2007- This is pretty bad around here. After 6 days below freezing, we finally got above the 32 degree mark today...just in time for the next heavy snowfall event. This ice storm created some major kinks in schedules. For instance, a week off of school only means that the kids get to go into June. ERRRRRR. We did not have church Sunday or Wednesday night. ERRRRRR. Chipping ice is no fun. ERRRRRR. We had about 3-4 inches of sleet and ice. Treacherous.... slippery.... Falls...... ouch!
ARKANSAS "IMPLOSION"- I am big sports guy, so I pay attention to this stuff.... And our oldest daughter is a Arkansas Alumnus, married to an Arkansas Alumnus.... so this is big stuff. So whats the deal? Well bottom line it looks to me like "the inmates are running the aslyum." First, The head coach gets told, "win or else." Implied in that is the demand, "Get the three best players in the state off of the local team( Springdale). So what does coach do? He hires the coach!. And low and behold the players follow the coach. Then there is a book that is written about the High School team and the stars. I haven't read the book but reports say there were some less than flattering things said about the Arkansas Coach.
The story continues. The Star Freshman Quarterback sits on the bench in the first game ( a loss), then starts the next 7-8 games, all wins. But he is replaced by the third string QB (at the start of the season). Worse yet, the team does not pass, ( Bad news for the hot shot QB). Instead the run all over the place... two running backs are stars, All Americans!. And the team wins 10 games in a row. Then they lose three in a row....
One of the star players , a wide receiver says, "I want more passes, they ran too much, I am transfering to USC." OOOOOH.... a crack in the exterior of the hog nation!
That is just the beginning. Then the mothers of the star players from Springdale have a press conference. THE MOTHERS ! Who has their mother speak for them?!! It was stupid. And the Coach then is forced to say, "Hey everything is okay...just family matters that need to be worked out."
It continues. The High School coach, hired a year ago, jumps ship to Tulsa University. Rumors abound. Was he mad? Was he forced out? Whats the real story? Coach has another Press Conference to thank the coach for his contribution to the team. Nice move.... nobody believes it though. Something is up.
The next day the star Quarterback goes to the team meeting and tells the coach, "I want my release..." Rumors swirl...... Where would he go? Coach holds another press conference to say, "I will let all my players go if they want." I understand that... however, I wonder what would happen if they all said, "Okay... I want to transfer." Maybe he just gets the Springdale High School team to become the Razorbacks....no..... that would not work.
Rumor is that Shiloh Christian Academy could do it... or at least Ronnie Floyd thinks so. ( See his blog, www.betweensundays.com.)
Today the news is..Mitch Mustain was in Tulsa.... The Star QB in TTown! Does it get any better than that...
Maybe it does. Maybe someone needs to tell the star QB that "you signed a letter of intent" which is a committment. A promise in my mind. And unless you are being abused (which was a rumor that I have a hard time believing) stay in school, and get an education. The odds of you going to the NFL are a million to 1.
So anyway, what does this have to with anything? Really nothing except for the fact that I have a terrible case of cabin fever and I am looking for anything to be amused by.
Now, if you didn;t like what I just wrote... I think I did you a favor. I watched American Idol last night... What a HOOT! Do these people not have any real friends who have the guts to say, "You are pathetic.... you can't sing... Don't sing....! " Apparently they do not have friends.
But you have to admit... It is funny.
Hopefully after the 5-8 inches of snow we are supposed to get this weekend, things will get back to normal.
And maybe I will too.....
ICE STORM 2007- This is pretty bad around here. After 6 days below freezing, we finally got above the 32 degree mark today...just in time for the next heavy snowfall event. This ice storm created some major kinks in schedules. For instance, a week off of school only means that the kids get to go into June. ERRRRRR. We did not have church Sunday or Wednesday night. ERRRRRR. Chipping ice is no fun. ERRRRRR. We had about 3-4 inches of sleet and ice. Treacherous.... slippery.... Falls...... ouch!
ARKANSAS "IMPLOSION"- I am big sports guy, so I pay attention to this stuff.... And our oldest daughter is a Arkansas Alumnus, married to an Arkansas Alumnus.... so this is big stuff. So whats the deal? Well bottom line it looks to me like "the inmates are running the aslyum." First, The head coach gets told, "win or else." Implied in that is the demand, "Get the three best players in the state off of the local team( Springdale). So what does coach do? He hires the coach!. And low and behold the players follow the coach. Then there is a book that is written about the High School team and the stars. I haven't read the book but reports say there were some less than flattering things said about the Arkansas Coach.
The story continues. The Star Freshman Quarterback sits on the bench in the first game ( a loss), then starts the next 7-8 games, all wins. But he is replaced by the third string QB (at the start of the season). Worse yet, the team does not pass, ( Bad news for the hot shot QB). Instead the run all over the place... two running backs are stars, All Americans!. And the team wins 10 games in a row. Then they lose three in a row....
One of the star players , a wide receiver says, "I want more passes, they ran too much, I am transfering to USC." OOOOOH.... a crack in the exterior of the hog nation!
That is just the beginning. Then the mothers of the star players from Springdale have a press conference. THE MOTHERS ! Who has their mother speak for them?!! It was stupid. And the Coach then is forced to say, "Hey everything is okay...just family matters that need to be worked out."
It continues. The High School coach, hired a year ago, jumps ship to Tulsa University. Rumors abound. Was he mad? Was he forced out? Whats the real story? Coach has another Press Conference to thank the coach for his contribution to the team. Nice move.... nobody believes it though. Something is up.
The next day the star Quarterback goes to the team meeting and tells the coach, "I want my release..." Rumors swirl...... Where would he go? Coach holds another press conference to say, "I will let all my players go if they want." I understand that... however, I wonder what would happen if they all said, "Okay... I want to transfer." Maybe he just gets the Springdale High School team to become the Razorbacks....no..... that would not work.
Rumor is that Shiloh Christian Academy could do it... or at least Ronnie Floyd thinks so. ( See his blog, www.betweensundays.com.)
Today the news is..Mitch Mustain was in Tulsa.... The Star QB in TTown! Does it get any better than that...
Maybe it does. Maybe someone needs to tell the star QB that "you signed a letter of intent" which is a committment. A promise in my mind. And unless you are being abused (which was a rumor that I have a hard time believing) stay in school, and get an education. The odds of you going to the NFL are a million to 1.
So anyway, what does this have to with anything? Really nothing except for the fact that I have a terrible case of cabin fever and I am looking for anything to be amused by.
Now, if you didn;t like what I just wrote... I think I did you a favor. I watched American Idol last night... What a HOOT! Do these people not have any real friends who have the guts to say, "You are pathetic.... you can't sing... Don't sing....! " Apparently they do not have friends.
But you have to admit... It is funny.
Hopefully after the 5-8 inches of snow we are supposed to get this weekend, things will get back to normal.
And maybe I will too.....
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Morning reflection
“The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of His hands.” Psalm 19:1
Darkness.....This morning I left the house in darkness. I was tired...it was cold. The white frost covered the ground, housetops and cars. There was no wind. 15 minutes into the walk, the eastern sky came into view. The wispy clouds had been illuminated with three shades of pink. It was the beginning of a new day. That view reminded me that there is someone who is in control...complete control. Out in the park, I turned to the western sky and there it was. The large saucer we call the moon. Illuminated with the purest of light, it seemed to invite me to its surface. No spaceship needed, just my imagination. I turned and the wispy pink clouds had turned yellow. Bright yellow. It was warm. It reveals the promise of a new day ahead. It was different kind of light, but beautiful just the same. I continued to walk... soon the wispy yellow clouds seemed to blend with some pink and blues. Then the yellow ball in the eastern sky began to rise. The white light on the full moon began to fade into the northwest horizon.
It occurred to me that this happens every day...without fail. The sun rises and the moon sets. The sun sets and the moon rises. I thought..." It is a new day, a new month, and a new year." It brings the promise of new things to my life. But some things stay the same. The love of a wonderful wife, the care of grown children, the promise of a purpose driven ministry, and especially of a God who let me see just a glimpse of His glory.
It is the best way to start out the day.
Thanks for sharing the coming year with me.
Darkness.....This morning I left the house in darkness. I was tired...it was cold. The white frost covered the ground, housetops and cars. There was no wind. 15 minutes into the walk, the eastern sky came into view. The wispy clouds had been illuminated with three shades of pink. It was the beginning of a new day. That view reminded me that there is someone who is in control...complete control. Out in the park, I turned to the western sky and there it was. The large saucer we call the moon. Illuminated with the purest of light, it seemed to invite me to its surface. No spaceship needed, just my imagination. I turned and the wispy pink clouds had turned yellow. Bright yellow. It was warm. It reveals the promise of a new day ahead. It was different kind of light, but beautiful just the same. I continued to walk... soon the wispy yellow clouds seemed to blend with some pink and blues. Then the yellow ball in the eastern sky began to rise. The white light on the full moon began to fade into the northwest horizon.
It occurred to me that this happens every day...without fail. The sun rises and the moon sets. The sun sets and the moon rises. I thought..." It is a new day, a new month, and a new year." It brings the promise of new things to my life. But some things stay the same. The love of a wonderful wife, the care of grown children, the promise of a purpose driven ministry, and especially of a God who let me see just a glimpse of His glory.
It is the best way to start out the day.
Thanks for sharing the coming year with me.
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