Chasing Daylight

Are you interested in a provocative book? Let me share one with you. Last fall I was given a book to read by a friend. It is entitled "Chasing Daylight...How my forthcoming death transformed my Life." It is written by Eugene O'Kelly.

At first, I thought, "Do I want to read it?" I took it on a plane trip to Oregon and could not put it down. It is an easy read.

Kelly was the CEO of KPMG, a world wide accounting firm. I knew nothing about the firm except that Phil Mickelson wears a visor with KPMG on it. ( Shows you the power of advertising.) In May of 2005 he was diagnosed with brain cancer and told that he had 100 days or so to live.

Kelly was a high achieving, workaholic who had scaled the highest heights of the corporate world. He traveled worldwide, met with the brightest and the best minds in the business world, and basically had everything he wanted in life, including a loving wife and children.

He also had a plan. He was big on plans. He his plan included more time as CEO, then retirement which would consist of then off into the sunset , traveling, playing golf, and enjoying his grandkids.

At age 53 that all changed. With one diagnosis his plan changed from living out the remaining decades of his life, to trying to learn how to die well.

Seems kind of odd doesn't it? "Learning how to die well." We don't do death well. We avoid it, refuse to talk about, most of us refuse to plan for it... we just hope that if we ignore it , it will go away, or will sneak up on us and we won't have to think about it much.

But Kelly had inoperable brain cancer. And He didn't have much time. The book is a facinating look into the mind and heart of someone who had to shift gears quickly and radically. It is a look into how life changes when you are told that you don't have long to live. It is a look into what is really important.

For Kelly, it was a look into how to tie up loose ends, unwind ( as he puts it) the relationships that he had forged over the years, and how to die in a way that leaves more answers than questions.

It is a look at how someone approaches the spiritual parts of life in a crisis. His way was different in many respects than mine would be. But it was enlightening.

It is a look at how someone evaluates options for treatments and make decisions based on the long term prognosis coupled with the short term benefits of those treatments.

It is a facinating book. I read it on the plane... then I read it later in the fall. This weekend I picked up again and read it cover to cover in about three hours. Why? Well, I am preaching this week about "Kingdom Tools for Transformation." The topic Sunday is "Transformed by Crisis."

Nothing can bring about change quicker than crisis. I said, "can." The reason I said "can" is because crisis brings oppportunity. Opportunity for evaluation. Opportunity for a new perspective. Opportunity for hope and peace.

Crisis is not all bad. I don't think it was for Kelly. If anything , for him, it was the right thing at the right time... He was forced to make some internal decisions about who he was, before it was too late.

Not all of us get that chance in such a dramatic fashion. But subtly, we are faced with crisis' on a regular baiss, and each one of those presents an opportunity. Some learn from them, overcome them, grow through them, and even flourish in them. Others do not.

The difference? Well, maybe it is all a matter of perspective. Every crisis brings options. And options demand a response. (Staying the same is a repsonse. Changing is a response. )

10 months ago I sat in a Neurologists office and she said, " You have to change how you live and how you work. If you don't you will be back here again and it will be much worse next time."

I thought the hard part is going to be to change "how I live." That was not that hard. I changed eating habits, sleeping habits, and exercisie habits. People say that there is a kinder, softer, and gentler Charlie now ( makes me wonder what kind of beast I was before). I am 70 lbs lighter than I was then. But all of that came fairly easy.

Changing how I work has been much harder. I find myself falling into some of the same old patterns... I have learned how to "shut it off..." But it is sure easy to let the "work" mind run and run, with no rest. So, I have worked hard to discipline myself... but it is a battle.

After reading "Chasing Daylight" a third time, I realized that Kelly's diagnosis and mine are not alot unlike. He didn't have the amount of time I have been given (so far). But we both had the same objective. To live in the present, to refuse to be dominated by things that we can not control, and to enjoy the presence of those around us. Ultimately we also have one thing in common. We will not live forever.

He did die approximately 100 days after his diagnosis. He had one summer to take care of things.

I have no guarentee of 100 days... I have this breath and this moment...to take care of things.

Ultimately there is good news for me... John 11 says "I am the ressurection and the life. he who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. "

I believe.

Chasing Daylight will make you think...