Fuel for Reconciliation

I think that one of the things that makes Christianity work is disagreement. That may seem strange, because we are called to unity, called to be one in purpose, called to agree with one another in the Lord and so on.

But how do you get 1000 people together every week and not have some sort of disagreements? We can't do that in our homes from time to time. We can't do that at our work places either.

This may seem like a strange statement, but disagreements are the fuel of reconciliation. Think about it.... If there was not a disagreement in the Garden ( "Don't eat of that.... but I am going to eat of that".) there would have been no opportunity for 2 Cor 5:18 to be true. " All this is from God who reconciled us to himself through Christ...."

I am not saying we should pick fights or have disagreements just so we can have the pleasure of a reconciliation . But I think that passionate people will tend to disagree from time to time.

Does Paul and Barnabas ring a bell? They had a passionate disagreement about John Mark. But scripture indicates that even though they parted company,( the Bible says, "it was a SHARP disagreement- Acts 15:39) later in life there was reconciliation and further ministry together.

Can you be married very long before you disagree? While some couples make it a daily thing, for Pam and I, fighting and strong disagreements have been few and far between. Something that Pam has taught me over the years is that while we may disagree, we can not linger long on that, and need to settle the disagreement and move on. I tend to want to escape, let it fester and grow, and in general just be mad for a while. It is a way that makes me feel like I am in control.

But she has taught me to talk it out... to see both sides and to find the middle ground if possible. And in our marriage that has never been impossible. We have been able to work those things out. She has been the teacher for many years on the value of reconciliation in my life. ( That is a pretty cool person if you ask me!)

I used to think that at work everything was good if we all agreeed all the time. But the staff of our church has taught me that disagreeing is healthy. It shows good thought... It shows passion. It shows that people are thinking and not just becoming mindless robots that toe the bosses line. We had a staff retreat recently that included some tougth discussion about issues on the staff and in the church. One staff member commented to me recently that it was the best retreat that we have had because we actually scratched below the surface dealt with issues.

That is counter-intuitive to me. I want peace. I want harmony. But is peace and harmony desirable at all costs? Apparently Paul and Barnabas felt differently.

There has to come a time when a decision is made, a direction is chosen, a line is drawn in the sand, and where everyone on the team has to say, "Well, that is what was decided, so I will do my best with it." But it is not healthy to refuse the dialogue. It very destructive to team dynamics. Dialogue often means more information, which can change minds. Dialogue often means that someone feels like they are being heard. Dialogue often gives God a chance to change a heart... or point out a flaw or two that needs work. ( The Holy Spirit is pretty good at that, if we will give him the chance.)

In the case of Paul and Barnabas, John Mark was the disagreement. Paul did not want him on the journey because he was a deserter. Barnabas saw something in John Mark and said, "Give him another chance." When Paul wouldn't, Barnabas did.

I am sure this was uncomfortable for all involved. But Acts 15:40 says that Barnabas took John Mark and sailed for Cyprus, and Paul took Silas and left, commened by the brothers to the grace of the Lord." Sounds to me like the "brothers" decided that the big picture was more important here... that there was middle ground. And as a result (as He is prone to do) God made the best of it... sending two powerhouse teams out to spread the gospel.

Late in Paul's life, from a Roman prison, He writes to Timothy and says, "Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry." (2 Timothy 4: 11.) The disagreement between him and Barnabas was long gone. The disappointment of John Mark's decision to leave Paul on the first missionary journey has faded away. What was left was reconciliation and ministry.

It is a story of hope for me. It is an encouragement to not let disagreement linger, to work things out, to find middle ground, and to see the big picture.

It is hard work. But God has been doing it since the garden. And I am thankful He still is doing it today.