Clarity

One of the things God is teaching me is the importance "clarity." When it comes to expectations, I think I am rather ambiguous.( As Pam would say "You think?!!!) I leave alot open to interpretation, instead of clearly spelling out what it is I expect.

This can be illustrated a dozen different ways. At home, I figure that after almost 27 years of marriage I should not have to explain myself. But then it occurs to me that I am not the same person I was 27 years ago, so how would Pam know what my expectations are?

Our kids are all grown, and pretty much out of the house. But I still think they should be able to predict what I want and execute it. (Those are not nice words in a family setting are they?)

At church, I am finding that I enslave fellow staff members to my feelings, because of a lack of clarity. Instead of me telling them exactly what I think, I hedge, or give options that sometimes are polar opposites of each other. I used to think that this was all good, because it builds teamwork. But as time goes on I believe that it really does just the opposite. It harms unity, and it opens us up to disappointment. I don't want that.

A conversation I had with a member of the church really brought this home. They had an idea about how to spend some money. It is a good idea... maybe even a really good idea. But I could not commit to it without some planning, talking to Elders and praying about it. But as the conversation went, I had a hard time saying it. Maybe it was because I wanted them to give the money. Maybe it was because I wanted them to give the money with no "ideas" attached. I know their heart and it is a heart that is so good. But eventually, I got around to sending a note to them explaining that I could not commit to their idea,( although I think it has exciting possibilities) and then followed that up with a phone call. And after it was over I thought, "Why couldn't have I been more clear with them about it upfront?" I was conflicted and found myself bouncing around on the subject. And that was not fair to them, or to myself.

Most of the time, my first instincts are pretty good. But I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. I want their approval. John Ortberg wrote a pretty good article entitled, "Approval Addiction" which I am trying to take to heart. (More about that another time).

Seems like Jesus said something about wanting the praise of men rather than the approval of God. ( John 12:43). I find myself thinking "What did they think about that?" without much regard to "What does HE think about that."

Soooooooo....I think the New year holds a "resolution" or maybe more like a goal ( certainly a prayer request). I want to be more clear with others about what I expect and feel. Then I can let the chips fall where they may. I think doing this will help my relationships at work, and at home.

2008 is around the corner... and I find myself thinking, " what will it all be like?" One thing that I would like to see in the next 12 months is a some growth in this area of my life.

If you want to pray about something specific for me.... Clarity would be a good start.