Squares

Two years ago today, I had a stroke...It was a pretty major deal. I am glad to be two years down the road from it. I feel better most of the time, but still have some "reminders" from time to time.

This morning I went to the hosptial for some follow up tests. They are the kind of tests to make sure the blood is flowing through my heart to my head. Of course, the techs are trained to say "nothing." (kind of like the Seargant Shultz on Hogan's Hero's- "I saw nothinnnnnnnng!). They smear you with gel, run machines over it, and then hand you a towell and say, "You may go now."

Neither tech had much personality and offered no results, but I figure the results are okay, since last year when I did this, they sent me to the emergency room for 8 hours. At least this time I got to walk out of there.

I took a book because I knew there would be some down time. John Ortberg is a favorite of mine. His new book is called "It all goes back in the box.." It is pretty good stuff about life management..If you know Ortberg, its pretty standard stuff for him. There are rare surprises, but he makes me think and laugh....at the same time.

I read Chapter 11 this morning...He quotes a man by the name of Lewis Smedes, in talking about time, our days gone by and the ones coming up. Here is a portion:

"I bought a brand-new date book yesterday, the kind I use every year; spiral-bound, black imitation leather covers wrapped around pages and pages of blank boxes. Every square has a number to tell me which day of the month I'm in at the moment. Every square is a frame for one episode of my life. Before I am through with the book, I will fill the squares with classess I teach, people with whom I ate lunch, everlasting committee meetings I sit through and these are only the things I cannot afford to forget. I fill the squares too with things I do not write down to remember; thousands of cups of coffee, some lovemaking, some praying and I hope, gestures of help to my neighbors. Whatever I have to do, it has to fit inside one of those squares in my date book. The four lines that make up the box are the walls of time that organize my life. Each box has an invisible door that leads to the next square. As if by a silent stroke, the door opens and I am pulled thorugh, as if by a magnet, sucked into the next square in line. There I will again fill the time frame that seals me- fill it with my busy-ness just as I did the square before. As I get older, the squares seem to get smaller. One day I will walk into a square that has no door. There will be no mysterious opening and no walking around into an adjoining square. One of those squares will be terminal. I do not know which square it will be."


Well, maybe you can see why that would have struck me this morning...There is a day(square) for all of us that will be our last square. What will matter the most will be not the appointments, meetings, big deals, sermons and all that. What will matter is our relationship to God and the people that we have touched and influenced. All the stuff in life we accumulate, all the accolades, the power, the fame, all of that does not go into the last square. The old phrase could not be more true. "How much did he leave? All of it."

Makes me think two things...

One, I am thankful for 730 more squares to live in...and I am hopeful that there will be more.

Two, I do not know when the last square appears, so I better be ready NOW.

Later today, I am going to a funeral in a little town west of here. The man who died is the father of a friend. His has been a long struggle. He finally got the last square. It's inevitable for all of us. Some just get more squares than others.

I will be reminded again to be thankful for the square I woke up in today, and to do my best to make it count for something that lasts.