This week I am at the Preaching/Teaching Convention in Joplin ( On the campus of Ozark Christian College). I have not gone to a whole convention in years. I realized tonight that I have been kind of dumb about not going to something so good, and so close. It will be a good week.
It is harder to manage my daily time in this kind of environment. I did exercise today, which was good. Don;t know about tomorrow. The day starts early and ends late. We will see.
Maybe the best thing about his is that I get to spend time with James and Lydia. They will be moving away in May, so this time is special.
God is doing some really cool things in me.... more about that later.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Chasing Daylight
Are you interested in a provocative book? Let me share one with you. Last fall I was given a book to read by a friend. It is entitled "Chasing Daylight...How my forthcoming death transformed my Life." It is written by Eugene O'Kelly.
At first, I thought, "Do I want to read it?" I took it on a plane trip to Oregon and could not put it down. It is an easy read.
Kelly was the CEO of KPMG, a world wide accounting firm. I knew nothing about the firm except that Phil Mickelson wears a visor with KPMG on it. ( Shows you the power of advertising.) In May of 2005 he was diagnosed with brain cancer and told that he had 100 days or so to live.
Kelly was a high achieving, workaholic who had scaled the highest heights of the corporate world. He traveled worldwide, met with the brightest and the best minds in the business world, and basically had everything he wanted in life, including a loving wife and children.
He also had a plan. He was big on plans. He his plan included more time as CEO, then retirement which would consist of then off into the sunset , traveling, playing golf, and enjoying his grandkids.
At age 53 that all changed. With one diagnosis his plan changed from living out the remaining decades of his life, to trying to learn how to die well.
Seems kind of odd doesn't it? "Learning how to die well." We don't do death well. We avoid it, refuse to talk about, most of us refuse to plan for it... we just hope that if we ignore it , it will go away, or will sneak up on us and we won't have to think about it much.
But Kelly had inoperable brain cancer. And He didn't have much time. The book is a facinating look into the mind and heart of someone who had to shift gears quickly and radically. It is a look into how life changes when you are told that you don't have long to live. It is a look into what is really important.
For Kelly, it was a look into how to tie up loose ends, unwind ( as he puts it) the relationships that he had forged over the years, and how to die in a way that leaves more answers than questions.
It is a look at how someone approaches the spiritual parts of life in a crisis. His way was different in many respects than mine would be. But it was enlightening.
It is a look at how someone evaluates options for treatments and make decisions based on the long term prognosis coupled with the short term benefits of those treatments.
It is a facinating book. I read it on the plane... then I read it later in the fall. This weekend I picked up again and read it cover to cover in about three hours. Why? Well, I am preaching this week about "Kingdom Tools for Transformation." The topic Sunday is "Transformed by Crisis."
Nothing can bring about change quicker than crisis. I said, "can." The reason I said "can" is because crisis brings oppportunity. Opportunity for evaluation. Opportunity for a new perspective. Opportunity for hope and peace.
Crisis is not all bad. I don't think it was for Kelly. If anything , for him, it was the right thing at the right time... He was forced to make some internal decisions about who he was, before it was too late.
Not all of us get that chance in such a dramatic fashion. But subtly, we are faced with crisis' on a regular baiss, and each one of those presents an opportunity. Some learn from them, overcome them, grow through them, and even flourish in them. Others do not.
The difference? Well, maybe it is all a matter of perspective. Every crisis brings options. And options demand a response. (Staying the same is a repsonse. Changing is a response. )
10 months ago I sat in a Neurologists office and she said, " You have to change how you live and how you work. If you don't you will be back here again and it will be much worse next time."
I thought the hard part is going to be to change "how I live." That was not that hard. I changed eating habits, sleeping habits, and exercisie habits. People say that there is a kinder, softer, and gentler Charlie now ( makes me wonder what kind of beast I was before). I am 70 lbs lighter than I was then. But all of that came fairly easy.
Changing how I work has been much harder. I find myself falling into some of the same old patterns... I have learned how to "shut it off..." But it is sure easy to let the "work" mind run and run, with no rest. So, I have worked hard to discipline myself... but it is a battle.
After reading "Chasing Daylight" a third time, I realized that Kelly's diagnosis and mine are not alot unlike. He didn't have the amount of time I have been given (so far). But we both had the same objective. To live in the present, to refuse to be dominated by things that we can not control, and to enjoy the presence of those around us. Ultimately we also have one thing in common. We will not live forever.
He did die approximately 100 days after his diagnosis. He had one summer to take care of things.
I have no guarentee of 100 days... I have this breath and this moment...to take care of things.
Ultimately there is good news for me... John 11 says "I am the ressurection and the life. he who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. "
I believe.
Chasing Daylight will make you think...
At first, I thought, "Do I want to read it?" I took it on a plane trip to Oregon and could not put it down. It is an easy read.
Kelly was the CEO of KPMG, a world wide accounting firm. I knew nothing about the firm except that Phil Mickelson wears a visor with KPMG on it. ( Shows you the power of advertising.) In May of 2005 he was diagnosed with brain cancer and told that he had 100 days or so to live.
Kelly was a high achieving, workaholic who had scaled the highest heights of the corporate world. He traveled worldwide, met with the brightest and the best minds in the business world, and basically had everything he wanted in life, including a loving wife and children.
He also had a plan. He was big on plans. He his plan included more time as CEO, then retirement which would consist of then off into the sunset , traveling, playing golf, and enjoying his grandkids.
At age 53 that all changed. With one diagnosis his plan changed from living out the remaining decades of his life, to trying to learn how to die well.
Seems kind of odd doesn't it? "Learning how to die well." We don't do death well. We avoid it, refuse to talk about, most of us refuse to plan for it... we just hope that if we ignore it , it will go away, or will sneak up on us and we won't have to think about it much.
But Kelly had inoperable brain cancer. And He didn't have much time. The book is a facinating look into the mind and heart of someone who had to shift gears quickly and radically. It is a look into how life changes when you are told that you don't have long to live. It is a look into what is really important.
For Kelly, it was a look into how to tie up loose ends, unwind ( as he puts it) the relationships that he had forged over the years, and how to die in a way that leaves more answers than questions.
It is a look at how someone approaches the spiritual parts of life in a crisis. His way was different in many respects than mine would be. But it was enlightening.
It is a look at how someone evaluates options for treatments and make decisions based on the long term prognosis coupled with the short term benefits of those treatments.
It is a facinating book. I read it on the plane... then I read it later in the fall. This weekend I picked up again and read it cover to cover in about three hours. Why? Well, I am preaching this week about "Kingdom Tools for Transformation." The topic Sunday is "Transformed by Crisis."
Nothing can bring about change quicker than crisis. I said, "can." The reason I said "can" is because crisis brings oppportunity. Opportunity for evaluation. Opportunity for a new perspective. Opportunity for hope and peace.
Crisis is not all bad. I don't think it was for Kelly. If anything , for him, it was the right thing at the right time... He was forced to make some internal decisions about who he was, before it was too late.
Not all of us get that chance in such a dramatic fashion. But subtly, we are faced with crisis' on a regular baiss, and each one of those presents an opportunity. Some learn from them, overcome them, grow through them, and even flourish in them. Others do not.
The difference? Well, maybe it is all a matter of perspective. Every crisis brings options. And options demand a response. (Staying the same is a repsonse. Changing is a response. )
10 months ago I sat in a Neurologists office and she said, " You have to change how you live and how you work. If you don't you will be back here again and it will be much worse next time."
I thought the hard part is going to be to change "how I live." That was not that hard. I changed eating habits, sleeping habits, and exercisie habits. People say that there is a kinder, softer, and gentler Charlie now ( makes me wonder what kind of beast I was before). I am 70 lbs lighter than I was then. But all of that came fairly easy.
Changing how I work has been much harder. I find myself falling into some of the same old patterns... I have learned how to "shut it off..." But it is sure easy to let the "work" mind run and run, with no rest. So, I have worked hard to discipline myself... but it is a battle.
After reading "Chasing Daylight" a third time, I realized that Kelly's diagnosis and mine are not alot unlike. He didn't have the amount of time I have been given (so far). But we both had the same objective. To live in the present, to refuse to be dominated by things that we can not control, and to enjoy the presence of those around us. Ultimately we also have one thing in common. We will not live forever.
He did die approximately 100 days after his diagnosis. He had one summer to take care of things.
I have no guarentee of 100 days... I have this breath and this moment...to take care of things.
Ultimately there is good news for me... John 11 says "I am the ressurection and the life. he who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. "
I believe.
Chasing Daylight will make you think...
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Lessons from Life- I am rich
This month I am preaching a series entitled "Kingdom Tools for Transformation." The idea is that God uses things in our lives to transform us... to change us ( Romans 8:29). Each week has highlighted a different thing... Leadership, A book called the Bible, and Servanthood (today). Next week we will talk about the Transforming power of Crisis.
I hesitated when I put this together to go there... It was about three months ago, and I had begun preaching again. I had seen so many good things from the stroke, and I knew that God has used it in a great way in my life.
It was also a great time in our church. There didn't seem to be alot of big crisis' in the church. It seemed like for weeks that we had no one in the hospital.. and nothing really huge brewing on the horizon.
Ah.....I knew that it would change. In the past three weeks we have seen a 19 year old commit suicide... unbelieveable! Such pain and sorrow, and yet we saw God work in a family's life. Then another young man (early 40's) was diagnosed with Cancer of the Esophegus... Very devastaing... to the family. We are privlidge to work with Lori (His wife). Any way... on friday after 8 hours of surgery, he is on the mend. But it is a long road.
In addition to that we have another young man ( 30's) who was diagnosed with Luekemia.. Not the worst kind, but a bad deal. The doctors are optimistic... but the treatment is tough...very tough.
Another young woman slipped and fell on ice and fractured her hip, and finds herself in a wheelchair. Another family is dealing with issues in their homes. Some are dealing with job changes, and even transfers...
Another man and his wife were in the back row today. They are in their 90's and 80's. He is suffering from Alzhiemers, and she is frail. But they were in church, singing the fast songs that we sing in 2nd service.
Each one of these circumstances present a crisis... and each one of them present an opportunity. I am not one to believe that God selects people for specific crisis' to teach them something. That many happen some times, but I think alot of things kind of just happen... as a result of nature, sometimes a result of bad choices...sometimes bad choices made by others... and sometimes there is no real explanation.
But I believe that God can use every circumstance in our life. There are things we can learn. Some lessons are not the earth-shattering..We have to learn to take care of ourselves... We need to learn to lean on others in our time of need. And most certainly we lean on God.
As I talk to people who find themselves in these tough times, it brings me back to 9 months ago. My life was uncertain. I wondered what the future held for me and my family. I wondered what I would get back and how I would react. I wondered if I really had the courage and discipline to change things in my life. I never doubted that God would be there for me...or my wife and kids...or the church. I just knew that I had better change some things and work on some attitudes and actions in my life...
We are all faced with times in our lives when we have to make a choice. We have to choose between fighting on with the help of God, or giving in. These last two weeks I have been inspired by a husband and wife who are wanting to fight on, inspite of the death of their boy. I have visited with a man who faced a terribly difficult surgery and said to me, "I want to live and I will have this surgery." I have seen a young man who has Luekemia and even though treatment is tough, he plowing though it, with the help of a wonderful wife and a strong church. Today, Valerie, ( Broken hip) was in church in a wheelchair. And Bill and Ilene...so faithful for so many years... Wow!
All of them have something in common with me... I have been there... and all of us had the same things going for us... A great and merciful God, a loving and committed family, and a strong prayer driven church that is willing to drop everything to help.
I am rich.... so are they. We could win the lottery... and if we turned our back on God, our families and the church, we would be the poorest of the poor.
So when I preach this Sunday on Crisis, I preach from experience...but not just my own...
God is good.
Charlie
I hesitated when I put this together to go there... It was about three months ago, and I had begun preaching again. I had seen so many good things from the stroke, and I knew that God has used it in a great way in my life.
It was also a great time in our church. There didn't seem to be alot of big crisis' in the church. It seemed like for weeks that we had no one in the hospital.. and nothing really huge brewing on the horizon.
Ah.....I knew that it would change. In the past three weeks we have seen a 19 year old commit suicide... unbelieveable! Such pain and sorrow, and yet we saw God work in a family's life. Then another young man (early 40's) was diagnosed with Cancer of the Esophegus... Very devastaing... to the family. We are privlidge to work with Lori (His wife). Any way... on friday after 8 hours of surgery, he is on the mend. But it is a long road.
In addition to that we have another young man ( 30's) who was diagnosed with Luekemia.. Not the worst kind, but a bad deal. The doctors are optimistic... but the treatment is tough...very tough.
Another young woman slipped and fell on ice and fractured her hip, and finds herself in a wheelchair. Another family is dealing with issues in their homes. Some are dealing with job changes, and even transfers...
Another man and his wife were in the back row today. They are in their 90's and 80's. He is suffering from Alzhiemers, and she is frail. But they were in church, singing the fast songs that we sing in 2nd service.
Each one of these circumstances present a crisis... and each one of them present an opportunity. I am not one to believe that God selects people for specific crisis' to teach them something. That many happen some times, but I think alot of things kind of just happen... as a result of nature, sometimes a result of bad choices...sometimes bad choices made by others... and sometimes there is no real explanation.
But I believe that God can use every circumstance in our life. There are things we can learn. Some lessons are not the earth-shattering..We have to learn to take care of ourselves... We need to learn to lean on others in our time of need. And most certainly we lean on God.
As I talk to people who find themselves in these tough times, it brings me back to 9 months ago. My life was uncertain. I wondered what the future held for me and my family. I wondered what I would get back and how I would react. I wondered if I really had the courage and discipline to change things in my life. I never doubted that God would be there for me...or my wife and kids...or the church. I just knew that I had better change some things and work on some attitudes and actions in my life...
We are all faced with times in our lives when we have to make a choice. We have to choose between fighting on with the help of God, or giving in. These last two weeks I have been inspired by a husband and wife who are wanting to fight on, inspite of the death of their boy. I have visited with a man who faced a terribly difficult surgery and said to me, "I want to live and I will have this surgery." I have seen a young man who has Luekemia and even though treatment is tough, he plowing though it, with the help of a wonderful wife and a strong church. Today, Valerie, ( Broken hip) was in church in a wheelchair. And Bill and Ilene...so faithful for so many years... Wow!
All of them have something in common with me... I have been there... and all of us had the same things going for us... A great and merciful God, a loving and committed family, and a strong prayer driven church that is willing to drop everything to help.
I am rich.... so are they. We could win the lottery... and if we turned our back on God, our families and the church, we would be the poorest of the poor.
So when I preach this Sunday on Crisis, I preach from experience...but not just my own...
God is good.
Charlie
Lessons from Life- I am rich
This month I am preaching a series entitled "Kingdom Tools for Transformation." The idea is that God uses things in our lives to transform us... to change us ( Romans 8:29). Each week has highlighted a different thing... Leadership, A book called the Bible, and Servanthood (today). Next week we will talk about the Transforming power of Crisis.
I hesitated when I put this together to go there... It was about three months ago, and I had begun preaching again. I had seen so many good things from the stroke, and I knew that God has used it in a great way in my life.
It was also a great time in our church. There didn't seem to be alot of big crisis' in the church. It seemed like for weeks that we had no one in the hospital.. and nothing really huge brewing on the horizon.
Ah.....I knew that it would change. In the past three weeks we have seen a 19 year old commit suicide... unbelieveable! Such pain and sorrow, and yet we saw God work in a family's life. Then another young man (early 40's) was diagnosed with Cancer of the Esophegus... Very devastaing... to the family. We are privlidge to work with Lori (His wife). Any way... on friday after 8 hours of surgery, he is on the mend. But it is a long road.
In addition to that we have another young man ( 30's) who was diagnosed with Luekemia.. Not the worst kind, but a bad deal. The doctors are optimistic... but the treatment is tough...very tough.
Another young woman slipped and fell on ice and fractured her hip, and finds herself in a wheelchair. Another family is dealing with issues in their homes. Some are dealing with job changes, and even transfers...
Another man and his wife were in the back row today. They are in their 90's and 80's. He is suffering from Alzhiemers, and she is frail. But they were in church, singing the fast songs that we sing in 2nd service.
Each one of these circumstances present a crisis... and each one of them present an opportunity. I am not one to believe that God selects people for specific crisis' to teach them something. That many happen some times, but I think alot of things kind of just happen... as a result of nature, sometimes a result of bad choices...sometimes bad choices made by others... and sometimes there is no real explanation.
But I believe that God can use every circumstance in our life. There are things we can learn. Some lessons are not the earth-shattering..We have to learn to take care of ourselves... We need to learn to lean on others in our time of need. And most certainly we lean on God.
As I talk to people who find themselves in these tough times, it brings me back to 9 months ago. My life was uncertain. I wondered what the future held for me and my family. I wondered what I would get back and how I would react. I wondered if I really had the courage and discipline to change things in my life. I never doubted that God would be there for me...or my wife and kids...or the church. I just knew that I had better change some things and work on some attitudes and actions in my life...
We are all faced with times in our lives when we have to make a choice. We have to choose between fighting on with the help of God, or giving in. These last two weeks I have been inspired by a husband and wife who are wanting to fight on, inspite of the death of their boy. I have visited with a man who faced a terribly difficult surgery and said to me, "I want to live and I will have this surgery." I have seen a young man who has Luekemia and even though treatment is tough, he plowing though it, with the help of a wonderful wife and a strong church. Today, Valerie, ( Broken hip) was in church in a wheelchair. And Bill and Ilene...so faithful for so many years... Wow!
All of them have something in common with me... I have been there... and all of us had the same things going for us... A great and merciful God, a loving and committed family, and a strong prayer driven church that is willing to drop everything to help.
I am rich.... so are they. We could win the lottery... and if we turned our back on God, our families and the church, we would be the poorest of the poor.
So when I preach this Sunday on Crisis, I preach from experience...but not just my own...
God is good.
Charlie
I hesitated when I put this together to go there... It was about three months ago, and I had begun preaching again. I had seen so many good things from the stroke, and I knew that God has used it in a great way in my life.
It was also a great time in our church. There didn't seem to be alot of big crisis' in the church. It seemed like for weeks that we had no one in the hospital.. and nothing really huge brewing on the horizon.
Ah.....I knew that it would change. In the past three weeks we have seen a 19 year old commit suicide... unbelieveable! Such pain and sorrow, and yet we saw God work in a family's life. Then another young man (early 40's) was diagnosed with Cancer of the Esophegus... Very devastaing... to the family. We are privlidge to work with Lori (His wife). Any way... on friday after 8 hours of surgery, he is on the mend. But it is a long road.
In addition to that we have another young man ( 30's) who was diagnosed with Luekemia.. Not the worst kind, but a bad deal. The doctors are optimistic... but the treatment is tough...very tough.
Another young woman slipped and fell on ice and fractured her hip, and finds herself in a wheelchair. Another family is dealing with issues in their homes. Some are dealing with job changes, and even transfers...
Another man and his wife were in the back row today. They are in their 90's and 80's. He is suffering from Alzhiemers, and she is frail. But they were in church, singing the fast songs that we sing in 2nd service.
Each one of these circumstances present a crisis... and each one of them present an opportunity. I am not one to believe that God selects people for specific crisis' to teach them something. That many happen some times, but I think alot of things kind of just happen... as a result of nature, sometimes a result of bad choices...sometimes bad choices made by others... and sometimes there is no real explanation.
But I believe that God can use every circumstance in our life. There are things we can learn. Some lessons are not the earth-shattering..We have to learn to take care of ourselves... We need to learn to lean on others in our time of need. And most certainly we lean on God.
As I talk to people who find themselves in these tough times, it brings me back to 9 months ago. My life was uncertain. I wondered what the future held for me and my family. I wondered what I would get back and how I would react. I wondered if I really had the courage and discipline to change things in my life. I never doubted that God would be there for me...or my wife and kids...or the church. I just knew that I had better change some things and work on some attitudes and actions in my life...
We are all faced with times in our lives when we have to make a choice. We have to choose between fighting on with the help of God, or giving in. These last two weeks I have been inspired by a husband and wife who are wanting to fight on, inspite of the death of their boy. I have visited with a man who faced a terribly difficult surgery and said to me, "I want to live and I will have this surgery." I have seen a young man who has Luekemia and even though treatment is tough, he plowing though it, with the help of a wonderful wife and a strong church. Today, Valerie, ( Broken hip) was in church in a wheelchair. And Bill and Ilene...so faithful for so many years... Wow!
All of them have something in common with me... I have been there... and all of us had the same things going for us... A great and merciful God, a loving and committed family, and a strong prayer driven church that is willing to drop everything to help.
I am rich.... so are they. We could win the lottery... and if we turned our back on God, our families and the church, we would be the poorest of the poor.
So when I preach this Sunday on Crisis, I preach from experience...but not just my own...
God is good.
Charlie
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
A Valentines note...
Its been "forever" since I blogged. A friend reminded me of that and assumed that it was because I was too busy... I shrugged it off, but then later thought about it and took some inventory... I am allowing too many things to crowd my day...and it shuts out other things that are important to me, my health and others... To that friend... THANKS!
I got up this AM and saw the snow flying... here in OK. But it is a nice kind of snow. It is brutally cold, but the snow will not pile up (or so they say), like it is in the east today.
Valentines day... snow.... it causes me to wax eloquent for a moment.
On Feb. of 1980, I met a girl at college. I had seen her around campus from time to time, and thought she was pretty cool. But I was playing basketball, working alot and trying to keep my head above water with the classes. No time for a relationship. But I just couldn't help myself.
On one cold evening, we both got invited to the same birthday party. ( And Austrailian girl's mom flew all the way to Joplin Mo...to throw a party for her 21st birthday.) Well, some might call it fate, some might call it luck, some might call it the work of the Holy Spirit of God, but whatever it was, She and I found ourselves in a line playing a game where you pass a lifesaver from one toothpick to another. We really did not know each other, but close encounters like that are rare and far between for guys like me. It was a "Wow" moment.
Later , I saw her at a ballgame. I told my friend on the team, "I am going to ask her out." ( I was at the usual place- the end of the bench....with my friend... I guess my level of concentration was not good, but at that moment, it was in the "right" place)
Anyway, I digress. I went over after the game and said something like, "Hey would you like to go get something to drink in a little bit.". She said "yes". Off to McDonalds it was! And I got her back to the dorm after curfew... And from then on, it is whirlwind city.
Six weeks later we were engaged. I just knew. She just knew. ( We were 22 and 21). We were married a year later... and it has been so great.
4 kids later, we still laugh at a picture of our kids dancing at a rest stop somewhere in the midwest. We still dream about the future. We still love spending dinner time together. Most nights any more, we are alone. Three kids are gone ( 2 are married, one away at college). Our youngest at Sonic, or is involved with friends at church. So there are lots of evenings at home. Some nights we talk alot ( but not as much as we used to.... the stroke has robbed me of some of my conversational skills). But they are good friendship kind of talks. They are rarely earth shattering by anyone else's standards. But to me, they are comforting...and they are funny.
We laugh alot at each other... We "high five" each other. We pass electrical charges in the winter through a kiss. ( We have to get a humidifier) We discuss how blessed we are...especially in light of the many issues that our friends face. We share a chocolate desert - one with two spoons...
We will have been married 26 years on April 5th. The 25th anniversary was spent in a hospital. I am so glad that I am around to celebrate the 26th. I hope for 26, or 36 more...And I look forward to the friendship deepening... sharing our lives with our children ( and grandchildren too- no pressure kids...just hope). I look forward to new challenges and new dreams... that are done together. And I pray daily that our lives will be a good witness of what it means to travel this journey we call life TOGETHER. It is what God intended for us.
Pam, I love you... You are amazing. You are God's great gift to me.
Charlie
I got up this AM and saw the snow flying... here in OK. But it is a nice kind of snow. It is brutally cold, but the snow will not pile up (or so they say), like it is in the east today.
Valentines day... snow.... it causes me to wax eloquent for a moment.
On Feb. of 1980, I met a girl at college. I had seen her around campus from time to time, and thought she was pretty cool. But I was playing basketball, working alot and trying to keep my head above water with the classes. No time for a relationship. But I just couldn't help myself.
On one cold evening, we both got invited to the same birthday party. ( And Austrailian girl's mom flew all the way to Joplin Mo...to throw a party for her 21st birthday.) Well, some might call it fate, some might call it luck, some might call it the work of the Holy Spirit of God, but whatever it was, She and I found ourselves in a line playing a game where you pass a lifesaver from one toothpick to another. We really did not know each other, but close encounters like that are rare and far between for guys like me. It was a "Wow" moment.
Later , I saw her at a ballgame. I told my friend on the team, "I am going to ask her out." ( I was at the usual place- the end of the bench....with my friend... I guess my level of concentration was not good, but at that moment, it was in the "right" place)
Anyway, I digress. I went over after the game and said something like, "Hey would you like to go get something to drink in a little bit.". She said "yes". Off to McDonalds it was! And I got her back to the dorm after curfew... And from then on, it is whirlwind city.
Six weeks later we were engaged. I just knew. She just knew. ( We were 22 and 21). We were married a year later... and it has been so great.
4 kids later, we still laugh at a picture of our kids dancing at a rest stop somewhere in the midwest. We still dream about the future. We still love spending dinner time together. Most nights any more, we are alone. Three kids are gone ( 2 are married, one away at college). Our youngest at Sonic, or is involved with friends at church. So there are lots of evenings at home. Some nights we talk alot ( but not as much as we used to.... the stroke has robbed me of some of my conversational skills). But they are good friendship kind of talks. They are rarely earth shattering by anyone else's standards. But to me, they are comforting...and they are funny.
We laugh alot at each other... We "high five" each other. We pass electrical charges in the winter through a kiss. ( We have to get a humidifier) We discuss how blessed we are...especially in light of the many issues that our friends face. We share a chocolate desert - one with two spoons...
We will have been married 26 years on April 5th. The 25th anniversary was spent in a hospital. I am so glad that I am around to celebrate the 26th. I hope for 26, or 36 more...And I look forward to the friendship deepening... sharing our lives with our children ( and grandchildren too- no pressure kids...just hope). I look forward to new challenges and new dreams... that are done together. And I pray daily that our lives will be a good witness of what it means to travel this journey we call life TOGETHER. It is what God intended for us.
Pam, I love you... You are amazing. You are God's great gift to me.
Charlie
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